Riding in the back of the ambulance holding Evelyn’s hand, Shon was thankful they had been in time. That the EMT’s had been able to bring her back, the best words he heard were when they said “she’s breathing.” It was as if they had given him back his life , his love. He would hold his beloved in his arms and take comfort in her loving embrace. She was alive that was enough.
Moaning softly Evelyn blinked struggling as she regained consciousness. Leaning over her Shon tried to calm her, screaming Evelyn saw only his eyes coming towards her, cold, menacing waiting for to her die. Panic took over and she screamed, gasping for breath as if she was still trapped. Blind to everything else but those eyes that kept watch. Moving quickly the EMT sedated her, mumbling “please no … his eyes …. I don’t want to die …. please don’t hurt my baby.”
“Is your wife pregnant?” the EMT asked Shon.
“No …. uh I don’t know,” Shon sat unable to take his eyes away from Evelyn’s face. “She could be … I mean we were trying but she hadn’t …” Tears sprang to his eyes as he gulped over a lump in his throat that threatened to choke him. Was she pregnant? Did he really almost lose her and their unborn baby? Shaking he put his head in his hands, moaning slightly as he felt a prick in his arm. “What was that?” he asked lifting his head.
“Your going into shock.” the EMT explained “I gave you a sedative to calm you down.”
Shaking his head Shon tried to wrap his head around the fact his wife was frightened of him. The way she reacted when she looked into his eyes. Would she always see his father when she look at him? Could their love survive? or would it fall apart? He’d let her go if it meant giving her peace, he’d have too. He loved her too much to let her live in fear.
Arriving at the hospital he watched as they took Evelyn away to an examining room. He found his way to the waiting room, despite the sedative in his system, he couldn’t sit. Pacing the floor he memorized every crack and crevice in the tile. His mind whirling, fretting on what he would do if she couldn’t look at him, jumping as someone tapped him on the shoulder.
“Mr Olivia you can see your wife now,” Following the nurse Shon tried to prepare himself for the worst. The nurse left him outside Evelyn’s door, he idly watched the nurse continue on her way. Breathing deeply, Shon pushed open the door to see Evelyn on the edge of her bed, staring out the window.
“Evie …” He croaked as he lost his voice. Evelyn continued to sit like a statue and stare out the window, giving no indication that she had heard him. “Evie I’m sorry,” he tried again taking a step closer unsure what to do.
Still she sat frozen staring out the window. Sighing Shon reached out his arms as if he wanted to draw her close instead he let them drop to his side. Hanging his head he turned to leave, tears blurring his vision as he groped for the door convinced Evelyn would never want to see him again. As he opened the door a quivering almost imperceptible voice said behind him “Shon?” Frozen in mid step he heard her say his name again. Tentatively he turned to face her. She still sat staring out the window but her left had was reaching out to him. He walked over and took her hand still worried that she hadn’t attempted to look at him.
“Evie I’m …. I’m sorry,” voice cracking and strained from emotions he could barely understand so overwhelmed he was with the days events, lack of sleep and the sedative in his system.
Squeezing his hand, Evelyn let herself be comforted by his presence. She longed to feel his arms around her, to cry on his shoulder and here she was paralyzed unable to move, to look her husband in the eye. A shudder passed through her as she thought about those eyes and how alike they were to his. A tear slipped down her cheek as his words registered in her mind. Why was he sorry? it wasn’t his fault his father hated her. It wasn’t his fault his eyes made her want to scream and hide. “Don’t … don’t say that … it’s not your fault,” She whispered bringing her free hand up to cover her eyes as she cried.
“If I had done a better job of protecting you. If I hadn’t waited until my transfer went through. None of this would have happened,” Shon said dropping to his knees as his legs gave out.
“Don’t say that. You did what you could. I’m the one who didn’t want to move. I’m the one who doubted you when you said your father was a nut job. I’m to blame not you,” she yelled. Her concern for him had her turning from the window. Seeing Shon on the floor head down so as not to look at her, her heart broke. She did this to him, she and his hateful father. Breathing deeply, she fought an inner battle to conquer her fear. She slipped to the floor and cradled his face in her hands.
Shon shivered as her fingers caressed his skin, squeezing his eyes tight, fearing her reaction. “Look at me … please, ” she pleaded. “Please look at me,” she repeated kissing his lips.
“No what if you can’t handle it?” Shon asked knowing he was afraid. Afraid that he’d be the one unable to handle it.
“I, we have to know,” she whispered in his ear “I can’t, I won’t let him win. I know in my head your two different people despite how similar your eyes are.” Tracing his face with her fingers, running her thumbs over his eyelids “we can’t go through life without looking at each other.”
Nodding acceptance Shon blinked and quickly shut his eyes again. Taking a deep breath, heart pounding he tried again, this time he looked into the eyes of his wife and she smiled.
Evelyn smiled when she realized the eyes she was looking into were those of her beloved husband, the man of her dreams, the love of her life. She smiled because the eyes she was gazing into were reflecting back all the love they shared together. “Have I told you how much I love you?”
“Often,” Shon smiled up at her “but you can tell me again.” He leaned in and kissed her deeply.
Breaking the kiss Evelyn held his face in her hands, filling her senses with him. How she missed and loved his scent of the cologne that reminded her of the ocean breeze. His skin smooth under the bristling whiskers of his unshaved face. The sound of his breathing that never failed to calm her. The taste of the mint he had put in his mouth to mask his unbrushed teeth. Her eyes drank in every detail of his much-loved face, the tired worried creases on his forehead and his eyes that never failed to express his love for her. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” she repeated as she peppered his face with kisses, reaching his lips she resumed their deep kiss.