Chapter 40 – Wally

Worried about his friend, Bray decided to spend the night on John’s couch. He lay on the too short couch staring up at the ceiling wondering if this was how his parents felt when he slid back into drinking. He’d be lying if he said he never craved a drink. There were many times over the years when the stress was so bad he wanted to drown in alcohol to make it all go away. More than once he found himself reaching for a case of beer in the supermarket or driving into the liquor store parking lot. The craving never went away. There were just days you didn’t notice it as much as others.

If he were in John’s shoes would he have gone back to former habits? If he had lost Trebor would he have tried to drown his sorrows away? He’d like to think he wouldn’t. He had Blake to think about but he’d known others who had been sober for twenty years who had lost their sobriety. It could happen to anyone. 

Throwing an arm across his eyes he tried to block out the light from the street light just outside the window. Giving up on trying to sleep he sat up, fished out his phone. Pulling up Wally’s number he wondered if maybe he should have tried harder to reach him. If he had maybe John … Shaking his head he could drive himself crazy with what ifs. Pressing the send button he waited with fingers crossed that this time he’d get an answer.

He let out an audible gasp when a hoarse raspy voice spoke in his ear. “Wally?” he asked not quite sure if the voice he heard belonged to the person he was calling.

“Yeah,” the voice grunted, “who is this?”

Grinning that his luck seemed to be holding “this is Braylin McGavin,” he introduced himself hoping Wally wouldn’t hang up on him. “Can we talk?”

“Do you know what time it is?” Wally asked, sounding none too pleased to be talking to him.

“Um,” he glanced at the time “sorry I didn’t realize.”

“Can we talk later?” Wally asked, yawning into the phone.

“Sure,” Braylin agreed “we can meet at 9:00 for breakfast? I know this great little cafe that serves the best pancakes.”

There was a slight pause while Wally seemed to be trying to decide what to do. “Yeah okay,” he agreed, sounding more resigned than happy.

“Great,” Braylin said with enthusiasm he didn’t feel. “I’ll see you there,” he said after agreeing on a place.

***

When Bray left John’s apartment the following morning John was still asleep. Closing the door Braylin let out a relieved sigh. He had hoped John wouldn’t know he left. He didn’t want to get John’s hopes up as he might not make anything better. He could make things a lot worse. He was trying to be optimistic but how could you when it’s been over four years.

He gave himself plenty of time to arrive early. He took the liberty of ordering coffee for the both of them. Ten minutes later he was beginning to wonder if Wally was going to stand him up. It was possible that Wally had forgotten the early morning arrangements but it was also entirely possible that he decided not to come.

Five more minutes ticked slowly by and Bray was thinking he should either leave or order something for himself. He raised a hand to wave the order waitress over when he noticed someone in a wheelchair struggling to open the door. Getting up, he held the door open as it seemed like everyone was content just to watch the man struggle.

“Wally?” he gasped, recognizing the man as he wheeled past him. “If I had known, I mean…” Bray struggled to string words together. How had he not known Wally was in a wheelchair? He had known he’d been hurt. Shot in the back but no one had said anything about this.  

“Surprise,” Wally mumbled as he rolled past Bray and into the crowded cafe. His cheeks flamed a brilliant red as curious eyes raked across him before hiding behind their menus.

“Um…” Bray was at loss for words. He didn’t even know if he should offer to help Wally or not. Deciding that the one thing he could do was flag down the waitress and request a different table. It was obvious that the booth where he had been sitting wasn’t going to be suitable for them. “Excuse me miss my friend and I will need a different table,” he requested once he was able to get her attention.

She stared at him, letting her eyes express how much his request irritated her. “Fine,” she snapped with barely contained anger “the least you could have done was to tell me when you first seated.”

“If I had known I would have,” he said as calmly as he could manage. “If it’s too much trouble we’ll just leave.”

Her demeanor relaxed a little upon his suggestion until a well dressed man stepped forward asking “is there a problem here?”

“No,” the waitress hastened to say before Bray had a chance to respond. “They’re just waiting for me to set a new table for them.” Glancing around the crowded room with a practiced eye “will that table in the corner be ok?”

“That will be fine,” Bray agreed, thankful that it was close to the door with enough room for Wally to maneuver his wheelchair in and out. Following the waitress he hoped their pancakes were better than their service was so far. When they were settled at the table Bray asked “was he the manager?”

“The owner,” she murmured, her lips curling a little as if the idea left a bad taste in her mouth. “What would you like to order?”

“Um,” Bray glanced towards Wally before saying “can we have menus please?”

Rolling her eyes “fine,” she walked away only to return with a food splattered plastic menu that she tossed at Braylin.

Before she could storm off Bray asked “and one for my friend.”

As if he had asked her to move the world she grabbed another menu. She tossed it in the direction of their table forcing Bray to pick it up from the floor where it fell short. He watched with a bemused expression on his face as she turned with smiles to another table. Obviously she knew who were big tippers and who weren’t. Handing the menu to Wally “we don’t have to stay here. Their pancakes aren’t worth this.”

Wally was staring at the floor “I hate this. People pretend not to see you or they stare open mouthed like you’re some kind of freak show. Then there are the ones who think your IQ went down to zero because you’re in a wheelchair and they treat you like a child.”

Braylin nodded. He’d seen it happen to ex-hockey players who had been hurt on the ice. He didn’t understand why people thought less of someone just because they were in a chair or walked with a crutch or walker. They were still the same person they had always been; their bodies just couldn’t function the way they used to.

“I’m really not that hungry,” Wally lifted his chin up looking at Bray for the first time.

“That settles it then.” Bray scooted his chair out “Let’s go. There’s a park not too far away.” Standing he tossed some money on the table to cover his coffees. He could feel the displeased eyes of the waitress following them to the door. Probably thought that they had wasted her time. They did but it was her fault. If she had treated them better they would have stayed. She only had herself to blame.

***

They moved along the sidewalk each locked inside their own thoughts. Bray tried to ignore the many stares from passing strangers. He had half a mind to ask them if they’d never seen a guy in a wheelchair before. His lips thinned with the effort it took to keep his mouth shut. Nearing the park Bray asked “is that why you broke up with John? Refused to take his calls? Ghosted him?”

Wally let his chair coast to a stop while he thought of a reply. “I was wondering when you’d ask,” he said once he came to a stop.

“That’s why isn’t it?” Bray continued coming to a stop in front of Wally. “You have to know John wouldn’t have thought any less of you. I know I don’t. You saved my life. My son’s life. Gave Trebor the means to save all our lives.”

Wally shrugged, staring glumly at his feet. He didn’t want to hear how he saved lives, not when he wished he were dead instead of trapped inside a body that didn’t work anymore.

Bray snapped his mouth shut sensing some of the turmoil rolling off of the other man. “It has to feel unfair that after everything you did that fate repaid you like this.” He wanted to say he’d trade places but would he? He couldn’t imagine living his life like that. But if it meant his son or Trebor would live? He’d like to think he would consider it a fair exchange.

Wally made a sound like a strangled sob. “I can’t have kids. Everything I had done before the case was ripped to shreds by the bullet that severed my spine.” He pressed a hand over his mouth as if trying to hold  in the sobs that were shaking his entire body. “I wanted to start a family with John and now…”

Bray knelt beside him resting a hand on Wally’s shoulder. “I’m sorry…”

“We had so many plans,” Wally continued. “We were waiting until after John retired from playing hockey then I’d take a leave of absence. Get married. Start our family.” His crumpled with fresh tears “now none of that’s going to happen.”

“Why not?” Bray asked.

“Why?” Wally blinked at Bray like the answer should be obvious. “I just told you. I can’t have kids.”

“Yeah you told me but that doesn’t mean you can’t get married or have a family.” He shook his head “It might be a little more difficult than you planned but there are ways to make your dream come true. You just have to quit being sorry for yourself.”

“Yeah right,” he snapped but there was a spark of hope that wasn’t there before.

“You could adopt,” Bray pressed on giving him options. He put up a hand when Wally opened his mouth to argue with him. “I know your condition might make things more difficult for you to adopt but it’s possible. Plus you have friends willing to help you and don’t forget about John.”

“What about him?” Wally asked unsure where this was leading.

“Why can’t he get the procedure done if having biological children is what you want?” 

“I don’t know,” he murmured, “I hadn’t thought of that. But it still might not work. I might not be able to, you know.”

“It’s something you could discuss with your doctor,” Bray asserted. “The thing is there are options but…” he paused watching Wally a moment before adding “you have to talk to John first.”

“He hates me,” his shoulders sagged at the thought of facing John.

“If that was true I wouldn’t be here,” Bray chuckled at the way Wally’s chin jerked up. “I could have just left you a message thanking you for what you did for me and my family. John’s my best friend. I want him to be happy and I think you make him happy.”

Absorbing what Bray was telling him Wally asked “do you think he’ll give me another chance?”

“He might but you have to make the first move. You have to reach out to him. Talk to him.”

Nodding “will you be there?”

He could see how much Wally needed to have someone there that he agreed even though he’d rather not. He was already involved ever since he agreed to do this for John. “Alright I’ll be there but it’s up to you and John. I can’t make this decision for either of you.”