Tag Archive | Garrett Bennett

Chapter 42 – Life Goes on – Finale

“Penny for your thoughts,” Braylin whispered into Trebor’s ear as they stood watching the waves break against the shore.

“What?” Trebor murmured as if he’d been a million miles away. “Sorry,” he gave Braylin a lopsided smile “I was thinking about Blake and hoping my parents are able to handle him for the night.”

“I can’t believe he’ll be five years old tomorrow,” Bray shook his head as if he could slow time down. Taking Trebor’s hand in his, he gave it a squeeze before turning to stroll along the beach. “Does he know I’m home?”

Trebor shook his head, chuckling a little “not unless my parents can’t keep a secret.” He couldn’t imagine his parents telling Blake and ruining the surprise. “I imagine if they told him we wouldn’t have a moment’s peace until he got to see you. You’re part of his surprise tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to see him,” Bray stopped to gaze out over the water, he wrapped an arm around Trebor, pulling him close. “He must be getting so big now.”

Leaning his head on Bray’s shoulder Trebor could hear the wistful almost yearning note in Bray’s voice. “We don’t have to wait until tomorrow. We could give him an early birthday present.”

“And ruin his surprise,” Bray shook his head. “It’s alright. I can wait.”

“It isn’t fair to you though,” Trebor pulled away enough to lift a hand up to caress Bray’s cheek. “I didn’t realize how difficult it would be for you to wait. You’ve been away so long. I shouldn’t have asked you to wait to see your son just because I thought it’d be a great birthday present.”

“Hey,” Bray tilted his forehead down making contact with Trebor’s, his arms slid around his husband’s waist. “I can wait,” he soothed, not wanting Trebor to worry or feel like he was being unfair to him. “It’s a wonderful idea. I for one can’t wait to see his surprise. It’d be even better if you’d let me jump out of the cake.”

“You sure?” he asked searching Bray’s face and eyes for any sign that he was just saying this to protect his feelings.

“Positive,” he kissed across Trebor’s face as if rediscovering long forgotten territory. His mouth hovered a fraction over Trebor’s lips “tonight is our time. There are things I want to do to you that I’ve been dreaming of doing to you for months.”

Bray’s words sent something like an electrical shock through Trebor’s body. “In that case I can hardly wait to get home.” 

“Why wait?” Bray asked, closing the miniscule gap between their lips.

Pulse racing, breathing hard Trebor could feel the synergy between them awakening the lust he’d always had for this man, his husband. No one else had ever awakened these desires in him. Breaking the kiss even though he craved to feel Bray’s hands all over his body, “Bray no, we can’t.”

“Why not?” he asked in a sultry voice, “it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“Yes I know but…” even as the words slipped from his lips Trebor found himself scanning the beach. 

“You know you want to,” Bray nuzzled his nose behind Trebor’s ear inhaling the spicy ocean fresh scent he’d missed so much. The scent he missed in the sheets he slept on in that lonely little apartment so many miles from the man he missed more than hockey. Taking a tiny step back, taking Trebor’s hands in his, lifting them to his lips, kissing the fingertips as he gazed intently into Trebor’s eyes. “We can wait until we get home. It’s alright.”

Seeing the desire, the lust making Bray’s eyes sparkle Trebor almost found himself nodding but there was something else there too. Something deeper than instant gratification it was like two halves that belonged together, it was an almost irresistible pull drawing them together. A tiny smile tugged at his lips “what if I don’t want to wait?”

Squeezing Trebor’s hands Braylin smirked “I knew the moment you suggested a walk along the beach this is what you wanted.”

Shaking his head Trebor wanted to deny the thought had ever crossed his mind but it would have been a pointless lie. He knew the thought had been in the back of his mind. He knew exactly where they were. Taking Bray’s hand in his he led him to the spot he secretly considered their special spot along the beach not far from his grandparents house. It was a spot they’d been before, stopping he turned towards Bray “what can I say? You know me all too well.”

“I do,” Braylin agreed. He brought his hands up, holding Trebor’s face gently between his palms savoring the look of adoration shining back at him. The love he knew he couldn’t live without “I’ve missed you so much.” He brought his mouth to Trebor’s in a kiss that seemed to be saying thank you for loving me and it held a promise that they’d go on loving each other.

Panting as they broke the kiss long enough for Bray to pull Trebor’s shirt off. “I’m so glad you’re home to stay,” Trebor murmured, melting into Bray’s touch and giving himself fully into the moment.

***

“Daddy! Daddy!” Blake cried running to greet Bray with his arms open wide.

Hugging his son close, “you’ve gotten so big,” Bray blinked a few times in quick succession 

“I’m a big boy now,” Blake asserted squirming from his dad’s arms. “I’m in school now.”

“Not so fast,” Trebor shook his head “you’re not in school for another few months.”

“But I’m five,” Blake raised his hand up, fingers spread wide.

“Yes you are,” Garrett winked down at his grandson. “But you need to be patient for the next school year to start.”

“But I…” he crossed his arms in front of his chest. Stomping his foot “I want to go now.”

Garret shook his head staring down at the little boy. “Don’t you want to spend time with your daddy? You won’t be able to if you went to school now.”

A deep frown burrowed between Blakes eyes as he thought over his grandpa’s words. “I guess school can wait,” he grudgingly agreed, “but,” he held up a finger before anyone interrupted him, “only for a few months.” He beamed around at the gathered adults before nodding as if congratulating himself for getting the upper hand he ran over to join his cousin Marcy and her little brother Ben.

“What was that all about?” Bray demanded watching his son walk away.

Trebor wrapped his arms around his husband from behind, “that’s our little boy growing up and no longer needing us.”

Bray wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. Pressing his lips to Trebor’s cheek “if it makes you feel any better, I still need you.”

Looking up with a soft but sad smile Trebor said “that’s good but it’s not the same.”

“Well you can always have another,” Toby suggested, joining the group.

“Dad,” Bray cried, surprised that his parents had made the trip to the island. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Surprise,” Trebor chuckled, glad he had thought to invite Bray’s parents. 

“Our grandson said he couldn’t turn five without us,” Bray’s other dad said.

“Since going to school is so important to him we couldn’t be the ones to keep him from turning five,” Toby added with a grin. 

“So here we are,” his husband added, waving his arms as if to say ta da at the end of a magic act.

“I knew it,” Bray chuckled, giving his parents a hug each, savoring the feel of the arms around him knowing there had been a time when he hadn’t been this close to his parents and he had missed them. “You love the little rascal more than me.”

“Every parent thinks their grandchildren are perfect,” Verity announced as she joined them carrying the birthday boy’s cake out and setting it on a table.

“Is that how it works,” Trebor asked, moving over to help her.

“Of course,” she gave him a quick peck on the cheek murmuring thank you. “We know all too well our own children aren’t perfect. Perfection skips a generation.”

Raising an eyebrow “that implies you were perfect.”

“Of course,” she pinched his cheek, making him squirm away from her. “Let’s get this birthday party started.”

***

Trebor looked when he heard Braylin come home. “How did it go?” he asked worry flickering across his face when Bray silently slipped into a chair like he weighed more than his legs could carry. “You did get the job, didn’t you?” he asked moving from the couch where he had been aimlessly flipping through channels waiting for Bray to come home. 

Kneeling in front of Bray he reached up gently caressing Bray’s cheek. “It’s just one interview. You’ll get the next one.” His chest felt heavy as his heart ached for Bray. He knew how much Bray had wanted this assistant coaching position.

Unable to meet Trebor’s gaze, Bray lowered his head into his hands. “Someone else beat me to it.”

“Who,” Trebor wanted to know. “Whoever it was can’t be as qualified as you are. Who else could they have found who is a pro athlete?”

Bray’s lips twitched at the resentful tone in Trebor’s words. “Maybe you should let them know what a big mistake they made.”

“I should,” he agreed with half a mind to do exactly that. Setting a hand on Bray’s knee he asked “what are you going to do now?”

“There’s only one thing I can do,” Bray lifted his chin up, his eyes full of mischief.

Raising an eyebrow Trebor asked “what did you do? Tell me you didn’t TP the principal’s house or something equally juvenile.”

Bray chuckled a little “would I do that?” 

“Yes,” Trebor cried, squelching the urge to headslap the bowed head. “What did you do?” he demanded, wondering what the gossip mongers would be saying the next time he went shopping. “You know I’m going to find out eventually.”

“I didn’t do anything dreadful,” Bray chuckled, joining Trebor on the floor. “Unless you call accepting a job as dreadful.”

Trebor’s mouth flopped open a moment before being snapped shut. “But you said…” frowning heavily at his husband “you said you didn’t get the coaching job.”

“I didn’t,” he agreed, grinning at Trebor, eyes sparkling, enjoying his little joke.

Trebor let out an irritated growl “you’re not making sense. Did you or did you not get the job?”

Shaking his head, Bray couldn’t answer the question for laughing so hard. Once he caught his breath he explained “I was offered a different position. A better one.”

Trebor gave Bray a puzzled look “I don’t understand.”

“The assistant coaching position was already filled,” Bray explained, “so they offered me the position of head coach instead.”

“Really?” Trebor asked suspicion heavy in his tone, half suspecting he was the brunt of another joke.

“Yep,” Bray confirmed, nodding “guess who the assistant coach is?”

Shaking his head still trying to absorb the news “I haven’t a clue.”

“John,” Bray said as if he were about to burst if he didn’t get it out. “He and Wally moved to the island and the school saw their chance to have not one pro athlete but two. So we’ll be working together again.”

“That’s great,” Trebor was happy that Bray would have his friend so close. “We’ll have them to supper once they’re settled in their new home.”

“And guess what else?”

“I don’t think I can take too many more surprises,” Trebor said leaning into Bray knowing that he had one surprise to add to all the ones Bray had given him.

“John’s pregnant. He had the male pregnancy procedure and it worked.” Bray couldn’t be happier for his friend.

“How far along is he?” Trebor asked.

Bray gave him a look that showed he suspected there was something more than curiosity behind the question. “I don’t know. Eight weeks or so. You’ll have to ask him to know for sure.”

A smile spread across Trebor’s face. “Then we’ll be due about the same time.”

“Due?” Bray asked, his face scrunched in confusion.

“I’m about eight weeks along,” Trebor said “I told you I had a surprise for you when you got home.”

Bray stared at him “but we’ve been so careful except…” his mind went back in time to when he first came home. The walk along the beach that ended in their spot, “oh,” he said softly looking over at Trebor.

Nodding Trebor chuckled “I guess we weren’t so careful that time.”

Placing a hand on Trebor’s stomach “are you okay with this?” They had discussed having more kids but they had both agreed they were content with Blake. “I know you wanted to focus more on your career now that I was home.”

Placing his hand over Bray’s, he nodded “I’m more than ok with it. This is a good thing.”

“We need to celebrate,” Bray declared with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He knew that Trebor knew what he meant when he wrapped his arms around his neck allowing Bray to lift him in the air. “It’s a good thing Blake is with his cousins for the weekend.”

“Aren’t you glad I suggested it?” Trebor asked as he was carried up the stairs to their bedroom.

“Mmmhmm,” Bray purred. “I married myself a very smart man.

Chapter 34 – Three Years Later

“I don’t like him,” Trebor said, keeping his voice low so only Braylin would hear him. They were standing to the side as Lonnie introduced Marcy’s father to their parents. 

“Is your overprotective big brother mode kicking in?” Brayling teased giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Probably,” he grunted, keeping his eyes on the older dark haired man as he talked to Verity. Even after all these years Trebor knew who he was. Lonnie had her bedroom walls plastered with his posters. He was once every preteen girl’s dream from his days in a popular boy band to his solo career. “He was in prison…”

Putting an arm around Trebor, pulling him close “for a crime he didn’t commit. He thought he was protecting Lonnie.”

“It didn’t work,” Trebor muttered leaning into Braylin like he wanted to melt into him. Lonnie had told him the story including how she had a one night stand with Barrett that had resulted in Marcy’s conception. How she knew Barrett had denied other women’s claims to have had his child and how cold and ruthless he was in dispatching them. She hadn’t told him she was pregnant. Hadn’t meant for him to find out but he found out from the guy who had framed him. No Barrett wasn’t someone he wanted his sister to be with.

“Hey,” Braylin tilted Trebor’s chin upwards, searching his face. He could see the anxiety building behind his eyes, he could feel the tension in his boy. “Is this just about Barrett or is it something more? Is this too much for you?”

Trebor’s eyes locked with Braylin’s. He wanted to deny that he wasn’t becoming anxious but Braylin knew him too well. “Can we go outside? I just need some air.”

“Sure,” he gave a gentle smile, taking his hand and guiding him to the back door in the kitchen. It had taken them three years to pick up the pieces after Kara had shattered their lives. Still there were times that it felt like it just happened yesterday. 

Closing the door behind them, Braylin pulled Trebor close, just holding him. When he felt some of the tension release from his body Bray asked “want to tell me what you’re thinking? Feeling?”

Sighing Trebor leaned into Braylin as if he needed the reassurance of his touch. “I’m okay really. I just needed some air…”

Brayling raised an eyebrow “you can tell me if you’re not okay.” There had been a time when they had trouble sharing their feelings. They both tried to shield the other from their problems, afraid to overburden the other. “I’m always here for you. No matter what.”

“I know,” Trebor pressed his lips against the skin just beneath Bray’s chin. “I love you.”

Chuckling a little “tell me something I don’t know.”

“I would but you seem to know everything,” he pretended to pout.

Poking a finger at Trebor’s nose, Bray shook his head “not everything.” He let his hands wander down Trebor’s body stopping at the hem of his shirt. His fingers slipped beneath skimming the smooth warm skin and the rippling muscles responding to his touch.

“What don’t you know?” Trebor asked between kisses leading up to Bray’s lips.

“Like where are we going to find some privacy for us to be together with a houseful of family.” His hands were exploring Trebor’s chest and stomach now, pulling his shirt ever higher even as their bodies pressed closer together leaving no doubt they both needed some release.

“We’re alone now,” Trevor’s voice was weak with need as his hands trailed down Bray’s body like he was feeling it for the first time. 

Smirking a little as he smiled down into Trebor’s lustful gaze “anyone could see us? Our neighbors, someone could come outside…” His breath caught in his throat as he felt Trebor’s searching hands as they sought his zipper.

“Let them watch,” Trebor said close to Braylin’s ear as he released him from his jeans.

“Are you sure?” Braylin asked before he lost himself to the moment.

“Positive,” Trebor brushed his lips across Braylin’s, nipping at his bottom lip. “I need you…”

Groaning a little, Braylin leaned Trebor back, guiding him to the ground, kissing him deeply. “If it becomes too much all you have to do is tell me…”

Trebor whimpered with neediness, “just kiss me and take me far away from here.”

“Baby I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” he promised.

***

“There you are,” Lonnie exclaimed as soon as they stepped into the kitchen. “What were you doing out there?” Without waiting for a response she turned to the man at her side “I want you to meet Barrett.” She gave the older man adoring smile

Trebro couldn’t deny the fondness he saw reflected back in the man’s eyes as he gazed down into his sister’s eyes. Still he couldn’t help but wonder he saw in a girl more than ten years his junior. Shrugging he forced a smile to his lips “it’s nice to meet you,” he took the offered hand trying not to grimace when the other man took it.

Sensing Trebor’s discomfort Braylin put an arm around his shoulders. You better watch yourself,” he teased “or Trebor and I might have to beat you up if our girl isn’t happy.”

Barrett gave them a woeful smile “don’t worry I aim to keep her happy. I’ve had plenty of time to think about what I want and don’t aim on messing it up this time.”

“I hope so,” Lonnie said glaring at him, “you won’t get another chance.”

Pulling Lonnie close Barrett stared into her eyes a moment. Nodding his head as if he had found all the answers to all the questions that had eluded him till now he said. “I think I’m a lot more worried about what you’ll do to me than what either your brother or parents will do to me if I mess this up. You’ve given me something that I never thought I ever wanted.”

“Which is what exactly?” Trebor asked, interjecting the question as if he knew it would pull them apart.

Lonnie rolled her eyes “here it comes. The whole big brother act.”

“It’s not an act,” he snapped, “ I need to know he’s going to take care of you and Marcy.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” she huffed, lifting her chin upwards as if daring him to challenge her. “I can take care of myself.”

Looking between the two siblings Bray knew neither one was going to back down. “That’s not what he’s saying,” adding before Trebor could contradict him “we know you’re capable of taking care of yourself besides I’m Barrett has heard this all from your parents.”

“You can say that again,” Barrett enthused, “your mom is a little scary. I wouldn’t want to be on her bad side.”

“See,” Lonnie raised an eyebrow at her brother, her eyes holding a silent challenge.

“Fine,” Trebor rolled his eyes. “I guess I’m very good at the whole big brother intimidation routine anyway.” He started to turn away, his shoulders slumping in defeat. 

“Hey,” Lonnie reached out a hand touching his shoulder “You’re a great big brother. I just don’t need protecting.”

Trebor lifted troubled blue eyes that reminded Braylin of a cloudy sky on a windy day. His lips twitched before he managed a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Alright.” He gave Barrett a firm look “but I reserve the right to kick his butt if he doesn’t treat you well.”

“You’ll have to stand in line,” she giggled wrapping an arm around Barrett “I get firsties.”

Shaking his head Barrett had an uncertain look in his eyes “I don’t know if I should be scared or glad that I belong to a family like this.”

“Be glad,” Braylin advised “I know I am.”

“It’s good advice,” Garrett said, coming into the room leaning heavily on his cane. “I’d take it too if I were you.”

“Dad, should you be up?” Trebor asked, rushing to his side.

Waving his son’s hands away, “I’m fine,” he sounded somewhat irritated “I’m tired of sitting. It feels good to be up on my feet again.” Garrett knew they all worried about him. It had been a rough three years and two surgeries since he was shot. But somehow he had managed to get out of his wheelchair and learned to walk again even if it were for short amounts of time. “Your mother wants to know if she should start dinner.”

“I thought we were going to order in,” Lonnie said.

“It thought we were grilling,” Trebor said “I have the streak already marinating. All we need is for Bray to start the grill.”

“Isn’t that what you were doing outside,” Barrett asked, frowning in concern when Trebor’s face turned a brilliant shade of red.

“Fresh air my ass,” Lonnie giggled “you just couldn’t wait to be alone.”

“Err,” Trebor opened the fridge hoping to hide his face and the cool air was welcome on his flushed skin. “I’ll get the salad ready,” he announced, trying to ignore all the knowing looks and giggles behind his back.

“Well I hope you remember to wash your hands,” Verity deadpanned to the delight and amusement of everyone in the room.

Chapter 31 – The Visitor

Lonnie clutched her daughter’s hand as she walked through the formidable doors of the hospital. All she knew about the place was it was the teaching hospital where her brother was doing his residency. A part of her wanted to turn around. Leave. Pretend she never received the message. Slowing she half turned, poised to leave when a young man with light pink hair approached them, calling her name.

“You must be Lonnie,” he held his hand out in welcome “I’m Braylin.”

She stared at his hand a moment before taking it in a jerky motion, murmuring “it’s nice to meet you.” His knowing smirk told her he wasn’t buying the polite words.

“Trebor has told me so much about you,” he said, filling in the silence that fell between them as they waited for the elevator. Smiling down at the little girl clutching Lonnie’s hand “is this your little girl? Trebor never mentioned…”

“Of course not,” she snapped, pulling the girl closer to her. “Trebor doesn’t know anything about me.”

Frowning, Braylin followed her out of the elevator, shaking his head at her. He was beginning to understand why Trebor was always frustrated when he’d managed to have a couple of words with her on the phone. Prickly was just the tip of the words he’d use to describe her. But one thing he did know was “he’s missed you…”

She made a sound like a derisive snort “don’t make me laugh. All he’s ever done is criticize me and the way I choose to live my life.”

His skin prickled at her disdainful words. Reaching out he touched her arm, blocking her from entering the door into the ICU. “If you don’t want to be here, turn around and leave. Your family has been through enough. They sure as hell don’t need your attitude.”

Some emotion Bray couldn’t identify flickered in her eyes. She turned her face away “they don’t need me,” she murmured.

“Not like this, they don’t,” he confirmed. “They care about you. Trebor has only ever wanted to help you and you’ve thrown all of his suggestions back at him. You haven’t spoken to your parents for over three years. It was my idea to call you. I thought that maybe you’d want to see your dad before …” he cut himself off. He couldn’t say it. The doctor’s weren’t being optimistic on Garrett’s chances. “Look, your mother needs you. They all do.”

Staring at the cold, impersonal tile, she swiped a hand across her cheek drying a tear before it had a chance to roll down her face. “Fine I’ll stay but I,” she swallowed over the lump in her throat. Lifting her eyes she met his “I’ve made a lot of mistakes…they may not want me here.”

“We’ve all made mistakes,” he gave her an encouraging smile “I’ve made more than most and my family’s still here supporting me. I used to think that my family was better off without me. By staying away all I did was make things harder.”

“Trebor’s lucky to have you,” she surprised them both with her words. Smiling, she hastily dried her tears “I don’t know if you’re right…”

“Of course I am,” he chuckled a little before taking her by the elbow and guiding her to some chairs. “Let’s sit for a moment before seeing your mom.” Once they were settled he winked at the little girl “is this your daughter?”

Sniffing a little she nodded, running her hand down her daughter’s hair “she’s my little sunshine.” She could have added that she was also the reason why she hadn’t come home too. She knew how disappointed her parents would have been in her. Quitting college. Getting mixed up with drugs. That culminated in a one nightstand with Barrett Trevino, a rising solo singer who had spent the past few years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. 

“Mom, can we go now,” Marcy asked, “I don’t like it here. It smells funny.”

Leaning in close to the little girl “I don’t like it here either,” Braylin said like they were sharing secrets. “Hospitals aren’t any fun. But once we’re done here I can let you hold your new baby cousin.”

“I have a cousin?” she asked, looking up at her mother, eyes wide with wonder. 

“Yes you do,” Lonnie confirmed having read about how the undercover cop had saved her brother’s baby. 

“You sure do,” Braylin patted her head “his name is Blake.”

Turning to her mom “I want to see Blake now.” 

“You will, I promise.” Standing she said as if facing the hardest thing she could imagine “first we have to see grandma.”

“I have a grandma?” Marcy asked.

“And an Uncle,” Braylin winked at her, taking her hand and walking with them towards the ICU.

***

At the sound of the door opening behind her, Verity moved to confront whoever it was disturbing her time with her husband. Her face pinched tight as if trying not to cry, it took her a moment to recognize the young woman standing in the doorway. Moaning she brought a hand to her mouth, “Lonnie” she sobbed, “how?” she stumbled forward reaching for her daughter, needing to feel, to smell to assure her eyes that she wasn’t just imagining things.

Lonnie grasped her mother’s reaching hand, pulling her close, hugging her tight. She had never seen her mother so lost, it almost scared her. Her mother had always been so strong. The family foundation. If she crumbled how would they ever be a family again?

“Mom…I’m…” she wanted to say she was sorry but the word stuck in her throat. She’d promised herself that she would never apologize for the decisions she had made or why she had cut off all ties with her family. Stepping back she asked “how is daddy?” Her eyes flicked towards the still figure on the bed. It seemed surreal to her that this was her dad. He had always seemed so strong and invincible to her.

“Oh,” Verity straightened, wiping her eyes dry on the back of her hands. Moving towards the bed where she had sat so many long hours waiting, hoping for any sign of change. Taking his hand, patting it, “he’s going to be just fine. He’s going to wake up and see you standing here and he’s going to be so happy.”

Lonnie wasn’t sure about that. If she were her parents and Marcy had ghosted her the way she had them she didn’t think she could forgive her. Sure she’d be happy to see her again but always in the back of her mind she’d wonder when she’d leave again. She listened to the machines keeping track of every life sign on the still form on the bed. Would he really be alright? Was her mom just saying what she hoped would happen? 

Blinking back tears she looked down at her daughter when she tugged on her hand wanting her attention. “What is it, Marcy?” she asked with barely restrained irritation.

“Mom,” Marcy pointed towards Verity “who is that lady?”

“That lady is your grandma,” she knelt in front of her daughter. “why don’t you go say hi to her?”

Shaking her head suddenly shy, “no,” she buried her head on her mom’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry I’ll be right here the whole time,” Lonnie promised.

Marcy gave her an uncertain look before she took a step towards Verity. “Are you really my Grandma?”

Looking down at the little girl Verity looked over at her daughter unsure what she should say. “Is this your mom?” she asked instead, feeling her way through this maze she found herself in.

Nodding Marcy took another step closer “my mom says you are. Is it true?”

“I don’t think your mom would lie about that, do you?” She wished things were different between her and Lonnie. She didn’t understand where she’d gone wrong or why Lonnie didn’t want to be around them. There were so many things she wanted to say but felt she couldn’t. Not if she wanted this tenuous meeting to continue. “Would you like to meet your grandpa?”

Marcy glanced over at the bed “is that him? Is he sick?”

“He’s getting better,” Verity nodded, her jaw hardening in determination.If she said it enough times it’d come true. It just had to.

“Should I sing to him?” the little girl asked, “mom always sings to me when I don’t feel good.”

“I think he’d like that,” Verity stretched out her hand, smiling when Marcy slipped her little hand in hers. “Maybe your mom would like to sing with us?”

Lonnie nodded, blinking fast as her hand gripped her mother’s. Their voices were a little quivery as they sang a song they all knew well. One that Verity had sung many times to Lonnie to help her sleep better after waking up from frequent nightmares. 

When the song was over Verity leaned in close, whispering so that Marcy wouldn’t hear her. “When you’re ready you can tell me anything. I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Thanks,” Lonnie sniffed, leaning into her mom taking comfort from her even without saying a word.

Knights of Hope – Chapter 30 – Hero

Verity noticed as soon as they entered that something was up. Something that put a lot of the officers on edge. In her experience that meant an undercover op wasn’t going to plan. No doubt the captain was furious which further increased everyone’s anxiety. Every fiber in her being told her it had to do with her son’s case she stepped in front of an officer whose head was down as if trying to duck, “ what’s going on here?”

The officer she attempted to stop stepped to the side, just stomach knocking over a pile of folders sitting in a desk. Grumbling beneath his breath he stooped to pick up the scattered documents. “The captain’s in a foul mood and taking it out on the rest of us. It’s not my fault the young hot shot detective is going off script.” 

Hastily she handed him the documents she had received having heard enough to confirm her growing suspicions. Loud voices were coming from an office she could see was the captain’s and from the waving of arms and shaking of heads she could see from the partially open blinds the captain was in a heated discussion with someone. 

Jerking her head in the direction of the office she took off in that direction knowing Kobi would follow her. As she got closer she was able to make out snatches of the conversation going on inside. 

“What the hell does he think he’s doing?”

“He’s doing what he thinks he has…”

“Bull shit. He’s playing hero…”

“He took an opportunity to get the boy out…what do you think he should have done?”

“Wait for backup…”

“He knows what he’s doing…”

“He’s going to get them killed is what he’s going to do. The press is going to have a field day with this. We were so close to shutting down this so-called purist movement.”

Stopping outside the office door Kobi whispered “do you think they’re talking about Trebor?”

Putting a hand on the doorknob, twisting it in her hand “only one way to find out.” She didn’t need to see the faces of the officers behind her to know they were all apprehensive at her bold move to enter the captain’s office without advance notice. Protocol be damned. 

The two officers looked up with a jerk as Verity led the way inside. “What do you think you’re doing? Get out!” The captain stabbed the air with his index finger.

A slight smirk played across her face, an eyebrow rising “I’m not leaving until I get some answers.” To emphasize her point she crossed the room and took a seat in one of the empty chairs in front of the captain’s desk. Crossing her legs as if she didn’t have a care in the world and all the time to spare. 

After a slight hesitation Kobi followed her, taking the other empty chair. 

A deep growl of impotent fury filled the room as the Captain’s eyes raked them with hot coals. Sliding his chair out from beneath his desk he snapped “get a report on that idiot detective of your.” 

Verity watched as the other officer shrugged and hastened to leave the room. From his stripes she knew he was a sergeant. 

The captain, none too pleased to be caught unawares, steepled his hands in front of him, elbows resting on the desk. “Now what can I do for you?”

“You can tell us what’s being done to find my son,” her eyes narrowed slightly “and don’t tell me the tired old line we’re doing everything we can BS. I spent enough time on the force not to be nullified by that hollow speech.”

Sitting back, chair squeaking in protest. He glared across the smooth surface of his desk void of any evidence of work being done. “Are you implying we’re not doing everything possible to get your son back?”

Kobi held his breath. He didn’t like the way the man was looking at Verity. His own pulse leaped into his throat, pounding loudly in his ears. His eyes slid towards Verity. She appeared to be calm, patiently waiting. 

“We need answers,” her voice was clear, concise “not the cock and bull you’re dishing out to the local media. I want my son home.”

“We all want that,” he crossed his arms in front of his chest, breaking eye contact to pull out a notepad from his desk. 

“That’s why I’m here,” Verity moved forward, perching on the edge of her seat. “We’re not leaving until I know you’re not keeping my son in peril to break an even bigger case. I know how nice it’d look to have your name in the headlines as the guy who broke up the purist movement.” 

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating,” his voice was clipped with forced politeness but underneath was a cold, hard fury.

Kobi watched a muscle tic in the older man’s cheek. He was doing exactly what Verity was accusing him of. His need to break the case outweighed the safety of the victim. Kobi glanced sideways at Verity wondering what her game plan was.

“It’d be a pity if your claim to glory was spoiled by the death of my son.” Leaning forward her eyes intense, “could you imagine the field day the reporter would have?” Shaking her head she sat back, one foot waving in the air “I’d only be too happy to oblige them with an interview…”

Growling the captain’s face turned crimson “I resent your accusations. My department has been doing all they can to recover your son.”

Smirking a little she was more sure than ever that she had pegged him right as a glory hound. “What is being done to find my son?”

Before he could answer the door burst open and a young rookie cop motioned for them to follow “all hell’s breaking loose.”

***

“Stop the car,” Brayling shouted as they passed an old run down warehouse with signs in several windows advertising space for rent. “That’s him. That’s Trebor,” he frantically pulled at his seatbelt, releasing it to bolt from the car before they even had a chance to come to a stop.

“Braylin,” Tate shouted trying to grab him before he jumped from the moving car. It took only a few seconds to release his seatbelt and follow his son from the moving car. Fright lent him speed as he dove for his son dragging him from the busy street.

“Let me go,” he cried, struggling to free himself.

“It isn’t him,” Tate tried to reason with him, positive he wanted to find Trebor so much that his mind was playing tricks on him. 

“No,” he shoved Tate from him. “I know what I saw. It’s Trebor. I’d know him anywhere.”

Before Tate could gather his legs beneath him Bray was gone, running into a group of people. It wasn’t until Garrett sprinted past him that he realized what was happening. In horror he watched as an older woman came from inside the warehouse, holding something in her hands. Something she was pointing at Braylin. “Gun,” he shouted before he even realized what it was. People began running and screaming all around him as a sound of thunder echoed down the busy street. 

Pushing his way through the stampeding crowd Tate came to an abrupt stop. Two bodies lay motionless on the cold, hard pavement. “Braylin,” Tate whimpered, falling to his knees to pull his son’s body into his arms. 

“Dad?” Bray mumbled, opening his eyes looking up into his father’s face. “I’m okay. I’m not hurt.”

“You’ve lost so much blood,” Tate said, eyes full of horor.

“It’s … I’m not hurt,” Braylin sat up, legs penned by the body on top of him. “It’s not my blood. I’m okay.” He wasn’t sure if his words were getting through but he didn’t have time to waste. Crawling out from beneath the body he rolled the man over, gasping at the gaping hole in the man’s side. He pressed his hand down hard into the wound trying to staunch the flow of blood.

Wally got to his feet, pulling his gun from the waist of his jeans before turning to see where he had shoved Trebor the moment Kara had started shooting. His shoulder hurt where one of her bullets had grazed him. He saw Trebor crawling towards the street instead of staying where he couldn’t be seen. Two strides he yanked Trebor to his feet, “I told you to stay hidden.”

“My dad…Kara shot him,” Trebor swayed a moment. “I’ve got to help him. Please.”

Nodding Wally half carried, half dragged Trebor towards the injured man. “How is he?” he asked tersley as his eyes roamed the now deserted street. 

“Not good,” Trebor said, ripping his dad’s shirt to make a bandage. “Keep putting pressure on the wound. We’ve got to stop the bleeding.”

Braylin nodded, sparing a quick glance at Trebor, thankful to hear his voice. “Dad, call for an ambulance.”

Still shaking Tate pulled his phone from his pocket, making the emergency call he did his best to tell them where they were and in the end Wally grabbed the phone from him giving terse instructions. 

Handing the phone back Wally said “you’ll be alright now. The ambulance will be here soon.” 

“Where are you going?” Tate demanded when the young undercover detective started to walk away.

“I’m going after Kara. I’m not letting her get away.” 

“Shouldn’t you at least wait for help,” Tate asked.

“If I wait she’s gone,” Wally said without stopping. He stopped at the door long enough to make sure his gun was ready then he ducked inside.

Tate could hear sirens in the distance. Help was on the way. He glanced down at his son, hands pressed into the sides of another man trying to save their life. Trebor was alive. He turned. Another young life was in trouble.

“Dad,” Braylin’s voice cut into his thoughts. “Don’t please. We…I … need you.”

Torn Tate hesitated, torn between staying with this son and doing what he thought he should do. It was the briefest of hesitations that lasted a second maybe two but seemed to last forever as the air was filled with the sound of rapid gun fire from inside the warehouse.

Knights of Hope – Chapter 29 – Just a Little Luck

Verity glanced up from the computer she’d been staring at for the past hour to see Kobi come in and sit down in front of the fireplace. “How is he?” she asked.

“About as well as can be expected I guess,” he sat down with a weary sigh, staring into the fireplace. “I wish there was something I could do. He just lies there. He refuses to eat or take the sedatives the doctor prescribed him. Tate sits with him, holding his hand telling it’s all going to be alright.” Looking up the past few days drawing lines of stress on his face “but will it? Will he ever be ok? All he wants is Trebor to come back but what if he doesn’t?”

Verity understood the worst thing about being a parent is watching your children suffer. “He’s stronger than you think.” She knew his deepest fear would be to lose Braylin to the world of alcohol again. Turning she switched the computer off with a sigh. After spending hours on the phone talking to the detective in charge of the investigation and getting nowhere she had tried finding something in all the propaganda on the internet about the Purist movement. She was a fairly decent hacker but even her skills weren’t enough to find something useful. Kara knew how to hide any trace of herself. Verity knew her well from cold hard experience but she found her once. She could find her again.

Every instinct inside Verity told her to keep on pushing, looking and she was going to uncover something. Her cop instincts told her to get out there, asking questions, searching for clues, and turn over every rock until she found something. Her mother’s instinct wanted her to tear apart anyone who dared hurt her baby.

“This is just as hard for you and Garrett as it is for us,” Kobi said, watching her. “It can’t be easy just sitting here doing nothing when your son is out there somewhere, hurt, scared, maybe even dead.”

Crossing the room, Verity sat beside Kobi on the couch. “Does it show that much?”

Nodding he moved to stand beside the fireplace, leaning against it. “I want to be out there knocking on doors. At least I’d feel like I was doing something…” stopping he looked towards the stairs where Garrett had just come down them “how is he?”

“Tate’s got him to agree to trying to eat something,” Garrett told him. “I’m going to make him a simple soup. Would anyone else like something while I’m there?”

Shaking his head, Kobi knew he should probably eat something but he didn’t think he could. He turned at the light touch of someone’s hand on his shoulder and found himself looking in the concerned face of Trebor’s mom. 

“You should eat something,” Verity said. “Then you and I are going down to the precinct and make ourselves a presence to be recognized. Maybe we’ll get some answers or,” she shrugged “we’ll get kicked out. One way or the other I’m going to try.”

Kobi grinned at her “sounds like a plan.”

“I thought you might,” she chuckled a little, “at least we’ll be doing something.”

***

Garrett gave Braylin a smile as he entered the room when he found Bray sitting up. “Still feel like eating?” he asked, setting the soup on the side table by the bed. He asked the question even though he had no intention of taking no for an answer. He knew Tate well enough to know he wouldn’t either. 

Giving the bowl a somewhat dubious look, Bray slowly nodded his head. “I’ll try,” he said without much enthusiasm for the task.

“That’s’ all we ask,” Tate said, giving Garrett a relieved, grateful look. He hadn’t been sure he’d have been able to spoon feed his son the way he had threatened to do. Reaching the bed he took one of the pillows and used it to help prop Braylin up so that he could eat. “You need to be strong and healthy for when Trebor comes home,” he told him, hoping he wasn’t undoing all their effort and plunging Braylin into the depths of depression.

At first Braylin felt his throat clench shut, giving him the sensation of choking even before having taken a single bite. The thought of Trebor alone and afraid god knows where struggling to survive brought forth fresh tears. “I should be out there…” he made an inarticulate sound before adding “looking for him.” His bottom lip quivered but beneath the vulnerability was something new, a determination to put forth effort into his words. He was going to look for Trebor even if it meant knocking on every door in the city.

Nodding Garrett smiled in understanding “after you eat we’ll go for a drive,” he said, his own eyes reflecting the same determination of purpose that filled Bray’s. “We’ll look for places where someone could be hiding Trebor.”

Braylin stared at Garrett a moment as if suspecting he was just trying to get him to eat. After a moment he nodded, his eyes alive with renewed hope. “You promise,” he asked, reaching for the bowl.

“I promise,” Garrett assured him, nodding when Brayling took the bowl and began to feed himself. 

Tate stood up, walked over to Garrett talking softly “is this a good idea? Aren’t you giving him false hope.”

“I can’t see where it’ll hurt anything,” he shrugged, crossing his arms. “He needs to feel like he’s doing something. Wouldn’t you if it were Kobi who was missing? I know for a fact that Verity and Kobi are going to the precinct to see if they can get some information. I don’t see why we can’t drive around. Who knows maybe we’ll get lucky and see something?”

“I guess,” Tate nodded although he didn’t sound convinced. “It would keep his mind occupied.”

“It would and I admit I need to do something myself. My son is out there with that woman. I can only imagine how he feels being near her again.” He’d give anything to be able to wrap his hands around her scrawny neck. She had terrorized him and his family all his life. It was time for it to end. Some people would call him callous, he knew but he didn’t want to understand why she did the awful things she did. He just wanted her gone.

He yelped a little in surprise when Tate touched his shoulder. “Trebor’s coming home,” Tate assured him “I know he will.”

Garrett nodded hoping Tate was right. His worry was what shape Trebor would be in when he was found. Would he be alive or found in some dumpster for them to find? He knew how Kara enjoyed having her handy work discovered.

***

Trebor huddled in a corner of his basement prison. Blood caked his face, one eye was swollen completely shut. His breathing was shallow as every breath caused a stabbing pain in his side. Broken ribs. Internal bleeding. His clinical brain knew the possibilities. He needed medical attention but he was unlikely to get it if he stayed here.

His body convulsed at the sound of piercing screams penetrating the clammy darkness of his prison. His sympathies went out to the poor soul. A part of him was grateful that it was someone else other than him. He knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. A person could only withstand so much before they’re willing to do whatever it took to make it stop. Every minute brought him that much closer to giving in. 

The pitiful screams grew in crescendo when someone opened his door letting in a bright stream of light that nearly blinded him. “Oh no, please…” he whimpered, pulling his legs tight against his chest “no more please…I..can’t…”

The words slipped from his cracked, swollen lips involuntarily. Anyone hearing them could hear how close he was to breaking. It was his silent prayer, a plea to whoever was out there to take pity on him. He just couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Shh,” a gentle hand helped him sit up. “If you want out of here you’re going to have to come with me. Now.”

For a moment the words didn’t make any sense. It was like he was hearing gibberish. Out. Leave. “What?” he murmured expressing what his befuddled brain was screaming at him.

“Do you trust me?” Wally asked, looking him straight in the eye. “IF you do, you’ll get up and come with me. We have to go now before they finish …” A shudder ran through him as yet another scream pierced the air around them. He didn’t like Ben but it’d take a colder heart than his to not be affected by what was happening to him. Kara was a sadistic woman who took pleasure in the pain of others. It was like she got off on it. 

“Ok,” Trebor nodded, taking a gamble on the only person here who might be able to help. Wally had given him the only ray of hope he had. That Braylin was counting on him to come home. That there was a surprise waiting for him. All he had to do was survive. Maybe just maybe someone had found his baby before it was too late or had Wally taken the risk and not thrown his baby away as he was told? He didn’t know, not for sure, it was just a feeling. Hope. Sometimes that was all a person needed to do the impossible.

“Good,” Wally pulled Trebor to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist while threading Trebor’s arm across his shoulders. He was practically carrying him but it didn’t matter once they were outside, on the busy street Kara couldn’t do anything to them. Too many witnesses. At least that’s what he hoped would happen. With Kara you never knew if she’d do the logical thing or not.

“Why are you doing this? Helping me?’ Trebor asked panting from the exertion. Stabbing pains in his side made it harder to move. To breathe but he kept putting one foot in front of the other. Telling him he could do it over and over in his head reminding him of the story of the little engine that could.

“If we get out of here I’ll tell you,” Wally said, hoping that he hadn’t waited too long to come for Trebor. Hoped that Ben could last long enough to distract the others. All he needed was a little luck.

Knights of Hope – Chapter 16 – Sunlit Tides

“Sleep well” Verity asked her son when he emerged from the bathroom the following morning. 

He gave her a suspicious look that deepened at the snicker his father emitted from the kitchen. “You heard” he cried wishing he could fall through the floor rather than endure the amused knowing glances between his parents.

“Son, you have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Garrett assured him, chuckling.

“We were young once,” Verity said, stopping to kiss the top of her husband’s head. “What would you like for breakfast?” she asked to get herself a cup of coffee.

“Are you cooking?” he asked, trying not to show the dismay he felt.

“As much as I know you love my cooking” she smiled over her cup. “Your father will be doing the cooking.”

“Oh good” his relief left him feeling weak. “Pancakes would be good.”

“Those are my specialty,” Garrett said, standing up and stretching.

Verity took his seat “we need to talk.”

The tone she used reminded him of when he was a kid about to receive a lecture about something he’d done. Mostly involving the importance of doing his best in school and getting good grades. Those were lectures he received before he’d buckled down in high school. After that it had been about…his mind skittered to a halt. He wasn’t ready for that talk yet.

“From the look on your face you know what I’m about to say.” She took a sip from her cup “he should know.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon,” he asked, taking a seat across from her. “I mean we’ve only been dating a few months.”

“Do you love him?” she asked, watching him closely.

His eyes shifted towards the window. The sound of the approaching train became louder the closer it got. The rattling of the windows in their frames. “I do,” he said as the train passed by his windows. His gaze met hers as he said the words.

“That’s what I thought” she nodded “I haven’t seen you this happy since…”

“Oliver” he whispered the name, shocked that he didn’t feel the usual stabbing pain in his chest uttering that name always caused.

“You know what happened to him wasn’t your fault” she reached across the table squeezing his hand. “It was a horrible terrible accident.”

Blinking back the hot tears he nodded. After all the years he was just beginning to accept that. It was why he’d been so adamant that someone tell that to Braylin. “I don’t know where or how to begin,” he murmured, “is it necessary. It’s been years.”

Lifting his chin up she spoke softly but with underlying firmness. “Yet it still forms who you are. Why you don’t drink. Why you feel the need to clear Braylin’s name. You were in his shoes once.”

“I know” his voice quivered as his eyes darted towards the bathroom door where the sound of the shower stopped. “I don’t know how to talk about it. I never talk about it.”

From the stove Garrett suggested “why don’t you and Braylin fly to Sunlit Tides? You both have the time.”

“But I…”

“Our treat” Garrett cut him off knowing his son was about to say he couldn’t afford it. 

“You’re not going to let me off the hook are you” he asked looking from one to the other of his parents.

“Nope,” they said in unison.

Verity turned to smile when Braylin walked from the bathroom, hair still damp and hanging in his eyes. “We have a surprise for you” she announced.

“You’ll like it,” Garrett grinned, handing him a plate of pancakes.

“Um great” he said sitting down handing the plate to Trebor “what is it?”

“They’re sending us to Sunlit Tides,” Trebor informed him.

“Yeah,” Garrett grinned, joining them “we thought you might want a little privacy after last night.”

Trebor smothered a laugh as Braylins face lit up like Rudolph’s red nose. “Yeah. We weren’t as quiet as we thought.”

***

Once they were unpacked and settled Trebor went outside to breathe deeply of the salty ocean breeze. “You’re not just a poor resident doctor living from paycheck to paycheck are you?”

“Not in the true sense” he leaned back enjoying the warmth of the man’s back. “I choose to make my own way without my parents’ help. If I ever need their help all I have to do is ask. Although since I turned twenty-five I have full access to my heritance.”

“So your parents are loaded,” he asked, kissing the back of his neck.

“I guess,” he shrugged. “I’ve never thought about it. I know we didn’t have to struggle for money. My parents always worked. My dad was in the coast guards. Every year during hurricane season Mom would worry that he might not come back when he was deployed to rescue someone who didn’t heed the warnings.” 

“And your mom is a cop” he asked.

“Actually a detective” he corrected, turning into Braylin’s arms. “She’s tried for years to find my Aunt.”

“The one who kidnapped you?”

Nodding he sighed “it frustrates her that she can’t find a trace of where she went. I hope she’s dead and rotting somewhere. I know that’s pretty heartless of me but I can’t help it. She’s an evil twisted woman.”

“I have a feeling you’re not telling me everything,” he said, holding the man who had become more important to him than literally everything else, including hockey.

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you about her” he sighed content and safe in his hockey player’s arms. “I don’t like thinking about her very much.”

Holding Trebor’s face between his hands he said “you don’t have to talk about her. It’s alright. You’re safe and she won’t ever hurt you again.”

“I almost believe you,” he smiled at him “but I’d feel better if she weren’t out there somewhere lurking.”

“Well” he groped for something reassuring to say or do but Trebor beat him to it.

“Let’s go to the beach” he suggested “I want to feel the sun on my face.”

“Gonna teach me how to surf,” he asked, taking Trebor’s hand.

“I could probably get someone to give you lessons,” he offered. “I know it’s weird for someone who lived his entire life on an island to never have learned how to surf but” he shrugged “that’s me.”

“We can take lessons together,” he suggested. 

“Alright” he agreed somewhat hesitantly.

“You don’t like the idea?”

“I’m not a very good swimmer either” he admitted “I’ve never been able to not think about all the sharks that might be swimming around me.”

Braylin stopped walking, staring at the man beside him. “For a guy who seems to have it all together you sure do have a lot of phobias.”

“You can blame my grandpa for this particular one” he laughed “he hates the water.”

“Will I be meeting your grandparents” he asked “or have they passed on?” He felt the familiar longing he always did when thinking of grandparents. His mind always went to his grandma and how much he still missed her. 

“Of course you’ll meet them. He’s not that old. I mean he’s not ancient. He hasn’t even hit seventy yet.”

They continued walking in silence until Trebor stopped, breathing deeping. “This is my favorite spot on the island.” he said “I always liked to come here when I needed to think about things.”

“it’s pretty secluded” he observed “I bet this was a great makeout place to bring your dates.”

“I…” he frowned. “I never thought of that. This was always my place. Kind of a secret place where I could always be alone.”

“But you brought me here” Braylin couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “I’m honored.”

“Well” he looked around nervously “I had ulterior motives. I might not have thought of it then but I…”

“Oh” Brayling moved in close, his hands resting on Trebor’s hips. “Do you really want to do it here?” he asked, nibbling his earlobe.

“As you said it’s secluded and I want to throw caution to the wind.” His heart raced at his unexpected daring. He could feel the disbelief in Braylin’s stare. He could hardly believe it himself. 

“I think I’m going to like it here” he grinned, taking Trebor’s hand and leading him further into the island foliage.

***

“There’s one more place I need to take you,” Trebor said, his voice solemn as his calm exterior began to crumble.

Braylin felt his heart dip sure that their earlier romp on the beach was Trebor’s way of telling him goodbye. “Whatever you have to say to me you can say it here. You don’t have to take me anywhere special.”

Reaching across the short space between them Trebor took his hand. “I need you there. Please.”

The entreaty in his voice alarmed him. Telling him this request had less to do with him and more about Trebor. Something was eating at him and he needed him to be strong. “Alright” he said.

They walked along the dusty dirt road, the sun beating down upon them. “Can we stop and rest a moment?” Braylin asked, tugging off his shirt.

Frowning Trebor nodded “are you okay?”

“I’m not used to the heat” he explained “do you walk everywhere on this island?”

His shoulders moved a little “it’s just as easy to walk as it is to drive. It’s not a very big island.”

Fanning himself he grinned “at least I know how you got into such great shape. It’s all this walking.”

“We don’t have much farther to go,” he said by way of encouragement.

“Okay I’m ready” he said, getting to his feet and walking in the direction they had been going. He kept glancing at his companion. Trebor had become increasingly more silent and anxious the longer they trekked along this road. He wondered what he needed him to see. 

Trebor stopped in front of a well maintained cemetery. Opening the gate Braylin knew they had arrived at their destination.

It was a pleasant sunny outlook with birds chirping in the trees overhead. If it weren’t for the tombstones it could have been a park. Stopping in front of a gray slab, Trebor said “this is Oliver.” He sat on the grass in front of it.

Unsure what he was supposed to do he sat down beside him. “Was he a friend?” he asked, feeling that whoever this Oliver was he was more than a friend.

“We dated in high school,” Trebor explained, eyes staring straight ahead. “We had all these plans for what we would do afterwards. College. Medical school. Getting married.”

“What happened?” he asked when he fell silent.

“There was this party” he sniffed like he was crying. “Oli wanted to go but I didn’t. In the end he talked me into it.” He tugged at the grass beneath his hands, ripping it out. “It was fun the little bit I remember.”

Putting an arm around his shoulder Braylin silently encouraged him to continue.

“It was the first time I ever drank enough to get wasted. I was having fun. Letting loose. Drinking. Dancing. I never felt so free before. It was late when we decided to go home. I was in no shape to drive. Oli must have thought he was. He convinced me to give him the keys to my car. Instead of calling my parents to come get us. I should have called home. My parents would have come.” Tears were rolling down his cheeks. “I fell asleep almost as soon as we got in the car. I never saw the truck that hit us. I woke up to the sound of metal crunching and glass shattering. The smell of gasoline and the acrid scent of smoke in the air.”

Braylin pulled him closer until Trebor was nestled into him, hands twisting in his shirt. “If I hadn’t been drinking I might have been able to get Oli out. I could have saved him.”

There was little he could say or do to assuage the pain that racked the man he was holding in his arms. He now knew the reason why Trebor never drank. Why was he uncomfortable around those who do. It was understandable. It was amazing that he had been willing to be with him, a known partier. “I’m sorry” he murmured the inadequate words but wanting to offer what comfort he could.

“You needed you to know about this part of my past. I blamed myself for months afterwards. Wished I could die. That’s why I needed you to know that you weren’t to blame for me falling down the stairs. I knew it was an accident.” He was talking rapidly, needing to get the words out.

Nodding towards the gravestone Braylin asked “did he cause the accident? Was he driving drunk?”

“No” he took a wobbly breath “it was the truck driver. He fell asleep at the wheel. Oli’s blood alcohol was normal. He barely drank anything.”

“Then why….”

“It was my car. I gave him the keys” he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “It should have been me driving. I should have been the one to die. If he hadn’t been taking care of me he wouldn’t have died.” his shoulders shook as deep heart wrenching sobs wracked his body.

Chapter 15 – Someone To Believe In / Chapter 17 –

Knights of Hope – Chapter 15 – Someone To Believe In

Eli kept a lookout for his chance to catch Trebor before he left the hospital. When he came out of the doctor’s office he made his approach. “How’s the arm?” he inquired.

“I have to wear the cast for another 3-4 weeks” he shrugged “then I’ll have several weeks of therapy before I’ll know if I can come back.”

“You’re taking it fairly well considering” Eli observed.

“Yeah well” he paused. “I’m trying to be positive. Nothing else to do really short of going back in time.”

Nodding Eli sucked on his bottom lip. “How is he?” he asked.

Smiling a little Trebor knew this was really why Eli had stopped him. “Do you really want to know?” he challenged.

“Well….yeah.”

“Just making sure” he sighed “you haven’t exactly been around much checking in on him even though he’s right here in the hospital.”

“I’ve been busy,” he explained, “working more hours. It hasn’t been easy since you’ve been out of commission.”

“I’m surprised they haven’t filled my position with someone else,” Trebor said, trying not to sound as depressed as he felt. He’d worked hard to get where he was and one accident and it could all be gone.

“You left rather big shoes to fill” Eli chuckled holding his hands apart “kind of like big ass clown shoes. No one wants to be caught dead in those.”

“You’re an idiot you know that” Trebor said walking towards the nurses station to say hi to Lana before he left.

“Hey stranger” she called, running around the desk to throw her arms around him. “We’ve missed you so much. You have to come over for supper.”

“I’d like that” he said, releasing her “if that invitation includes Braylin.”

Her eyes shifted towards Eli who shrugged. “Are you two together again? Even after everything that’s happened.”

“We were never apart,” he corrected.

“But he” she met his gaze “he hurt you.”

“He did,” he nodded, “but not as much as he hurt himself. He needs me. He was there for me when I needed him. I can’t do any less.”

“What if he does it again?” she asked.

Lifting his arm “this was an accident. He never meant to hurt me. I was too close to the stairs.”

Taking a step back she shook her fluffy head. “That’s not what I was talking about. He stopped talking to you. Cut you off. I know you. That hurt worse than anything he could do to you physically.”

“Well in that case” he grinned “if he does that again feel free to have it at it.”

Taking a step forward “you’re really okay” she peered into his eyes. When he nodded she continued “alright he’s invited. How about Friday? Tell your parents to come too. I’d love to see them before they have to go home.”

“Thanks Lana” he swooped her up giving her a bear hug “you’re the best.”

Patting his back she grinned “I am going to give that boy of yours a good talking to though. Making us all worry about him like that.”

“You do that” he said releasing her “he needs to know he has people in his corner.”

***

Sitting in the backseat while his dad drove and his mom kept an eye on the map he had plenty of time to notice how uncomfortable and quiet the man beside him had become. Reaching across the seat he touched Bray’s hand.

Entwining his fingers with Trebor’s he attempted to calm his wildly beating heart. “Are you sure they want me there?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “they want you to come.” He could see his words barely scratched the surface of the man’s anxiety. “It’s going to be alright. Lana will probably give you some speech about not hurting me again. Then it’ll be over. They like you.”

“Okay” the anxiety in his blue eyes didn’t abate though.

Squeezing his hand Trebor leaned into him. “It’s been a difficult day, hasn’t it?” He knew Bray’s parents had left earlier that day. He’d worried about Braylin being alone in that apartment. He could only imagine how difficult that would be. He doubted he could do it. He’d always see the blood pooled on the bathroom floor. The steady drip as the water spilled over the edge of the tub. Squeezing his eyes shut he willed the images to the back of his mind mentally locking them away with all the other bad memories. In the place where they couldn’t hurt him anymore.”

Lana launched herself at Braylin as soon as they walked into the kitchen of their small apartment. He hesitantly moved his arms around her, returning her hug. Stepping back she swatted his upper arm. “Don’t ever do that again” she admonished him. “You made us worry about you.” Wiping her eyes she sniffed “I hate crying and you made me cry.”

“I’m sorry” he apologized at a loss for what he should do or say.

“Hey” Eli called from the stove “hands off my girl.”

“She’s the one attacking me,” Braylin protested. The knot in his stomach slowly unraveled. 

“She’s supposed to be yelling at you, not giving you hugs,” Eli said, stirring something on the stove. “You know something to the effect of. You are never to hurt our boy like that again.”

“Eli” she objected “I’m allowed to change my mind.”

“Hey you’re the one who said….” he ducked when she launched a sponge at his head. “I’m just saying….”

“That was before…”

“Before what?” Braylin asked curiously.

“Before I saw you and realized you were hurting too” she walked over to the stove. “Now go set the table before you say anything else and ruin my meal.”

“Why are you mad at me?” Eli whined pouting as he got the dishes from the cupboard.

After supper they gathered in the living room. A small comfortable space barely large enough to accomodate all of them. “So how’s it going?” Eli asked, directing his words to Verity.

“How’s what going?” she asked evasively.

“You know the case” he persisted, missing Lana’s eye roll towards Braylin and her slight shake of the head.

“It’s going well. I’m meeting with a few people tomorrow” Verity tried to answer and be vague enough to not provide much information.

“No one’s admitting to spiking Brays drink then” he asked, making it impossible now to make it sound like it was anything else.

Hearing his name Braylin sat up from where he was leaning into Trebor. “Are you investigating me?” he asked looking around the room. His eyes coming to rest on the man beside him.

“I asked her to” he explained “please don’t be upset. I’m positive I’m right. I never believed you’d take drugs or hurt me.”

He swallowed, feeling everyone’s eyes upon him. “Alright I can appreciate that. It’s just hard to imagine anyone doing something like that on purpose.”

“Mom, what have you found out?” Trebor asked. 

“Not much I’m afraid” , sighing she continued “I know you want to clear Bray’s name but I don’t know if we can.”

“But you said it was possible for someone to spike his drink” Trebor’s voice rose. “You can’t give up. Not now. You said that Matt had motive.”

“He does but getting him to admit it is another thing” she explained “right now we have no proof.”

“Matt” he asked “you think he spiked my drink. Why? I mean he’s a jerk. I didn’t think he was that much of a jerk.”

“Did you at one time date his sister” Verity asked “he claims you killed her.”

“I what” he cried jumping to his feet. “I’d never intentionally hurt anyone. You’ve got to believe me.” His last sentence was directed to Trebor.

“I believe you. Always have” he held his hand out until Braylin took it and sat down again.  “Mom, did you find anything at all helpful?”

“All I know for sure is Matt’s sister Lindsey died instantly in a car accident when she was hit by a drunk driver…”

“It wasn’t me” Braylin insisted “I’ve done a lot of stupid shit while I was wasted but driving while intoxicated wasn’t one of them.”

“Did you ever lend your car to someone who might have” she asked.

“I don’t know. I might have” he frowned “but surely the cops would have asked me questions if it had been my car.”

***

Later that night Braylin and Trebor lay in each other’s arms on the floor of Trebor’s apartment. Pressing his lips to the side of Trebor’s face he asked “why do you believe in me so much?”

“You never gave me a reason not to” he turned his head enough to capture Braylin’s lips with his own moaning softly. “I wish my parents weren’t in the next room.”

“We could have stayed at my place” he ran his hand across his chest and stomach. He felt the shiver that ran through Trebor’s body. Pulling away he let the blanket fall down around him. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you found me like that.” He buried his face in his knees. “I never thought…I just wanted the pain to end.”

“You don’t have to apologize” Trebor moved up beside him running his fingers through the soft pink hair. “I’m so glad I was there. That I got to you in time. Nothing else matters. Just you.”

“Really” he asked, lifting his face up.

“Yes really” he gently wrapped his arms around the man he loved more than he ever expected. “I had such an awful feeling that something was wrong. Like there was a ticking time clock counting down the minutes. I knew I had to get to you. Dad even got a ticket speeding across the town to get me there.”

“He did that for me” his voice was muffled as his face was resting on Trebor’s shoulder. “And your mom really believes I was set up.”

“Of course,” Trebor assured him, kissing the top of his head. Sighing when Braylin’s hands moved across his back and down his spine coming to rest on his hips, his fingers just below the elastic of his sweatpants. “We’ll have to be quiet” he said in answer to the silent question in Braylin’s eyes as he gazed up at him.

Smiling his hands moved further down pulling his sweats down around his thighs. “I’m not the one who makes all the noise.” He lifted his head from Trebor’s shoulder, cutting off the retort he was about to make. Rolling him onto his back Braylin let his hands wander across Trebor’s body. He kept his eyes on Trebor’s watching them ignite with desire as he explored his body. Dipping his head down he ran his tongue down his body stopping just above his target.

Biting his fingers Trebor moaned softly. It was an effort not to give vent to the waves of pleasure overwhelming him as Braylin performed his magic on him. Looking in the man’s eyes he could see his hockey player knew what sweet torture he was inflicting on him. At that moment he didn’t care who was just one wall away. He needed this connection, this bond between them.

Chapter 14 – Soulmate / Chapter 16 – Sunlit Tides

Knights of Hope – Chapter 14 – Soulmate

They walked in silence for a block or two before Garrett turned to his wife. “What do you really think about all of this?” he asked.

“Honestly….I don’t know” she glanced up towards the skyline. “I miss being able to see the stars.”

A small smile tugged at his lips. “I know what you mean. I miss the island too.”

“He’ll come home,” she assured him.

“Not for a while” he sighed. “You want to prove that boy innocent don’t you? Because we can’t reach our daughter, you want to help him.”

Stiffening in his arms at the mention of Avalon or Lonnie as her friends called her. Ava only to her family. “Yes. Maybe a little. Mostly for Trebor. He needs this. He needs Braylin to be the guy he thinks he is.”

“What if he’s not?” he asked. “His own parents seem so sure this is just the beginning of another bender….”

“Are they any different than us?” she asked. “How many times has Ava done something similar? She’s been pulled over for driving under the influence. Possession. I could go on but you get my point. You get numb after a while.” She stroked his cheek “but the pain is in their eyes and hope that this time will be different. They want their son to have a win. This victory over his drinking. I want it too. For them. For Trebor. For all of us.”

So where do we begin” he asked, admiring her ability to focus on what needs to be and still keep in mind the people involved. He remembered a time when that same focus and drive almost tore them apart. They both had so much to learn back then. 

“It began at a party. Trebor swears that they hadn’t been drinking before they arrived.” Pausing she considered what she knew “the real question is would he have noticed if Braylin was drinking beforehand or not.”

“I’m pretty sure he would,” Garrett said without a trace of doubt in his voice. “You know how sensitive he is about anyone drinking. I’m surprised he even went to the party.”

“That’s what I was thinking too” she nodded. “I assume he went because Braylin wanted to introduce him to his friends and teammates.”

“That makes sense” he shrugged “so sometime during the party someone got close enough to spike his drink.”

“It’s been known to happen” she thought for a moment. “It must have been close to the time they arrived. Trebor says they weren’t there long before Braylin was complaining about having a headache.”

“And it was after that he started acting differently,” Garrett said. “It doesn’t sound like someone out to get wasted. I mean he would have known he wasn’t sick. He wouldn’t have wanted to draw attention to himself.”

“Unless he didn’t expect it to affect him like it did” she thought for a moment. “But I think you’re right. He would have acted differently. You don’t tell a doctor you’re not feeling well and not expect him to worry about you.” Taking a step or two she sighed “right now all we have is Trebor’s assumptions and our own. We need to talk to others who were there.”

“Why don’t we make a visit to my cousin then” Garrett suggested. “The party was held at Joseph’s house. He should be able to tell us something.”

“He’ll probably be touchy on the subject”  she said “his parents are concerned about his partying.”

“At this point I’m hoping we’ll scare some sense into him,” he said, taking her hand as they walked. “I don’t understand kids today. Why do they think getting wasted is such a good time?”

“Careful your age is showing” she giggled as he turned to glare at her.

“I am not that old,” he grumbled.

“You are to a twenty something year old” she laughed, “but to me you’re still that kid who had a crush on me.”

Wrapping his arms around her “that’s right” he smirked. “You’re older than I am. So….if I’m old what does that make you?”

Pushing against him she retorted “three years is not that much of a difference. It does not make me ancient or a cougar.”

“I’m not complaining” he pulled her close to him “I like my hot older woman.”

“You say the dumbest things” she huffed pretending to be offended.

“But you love me anyway,” he said, peering deeply into her eyes.

Her tongue flicked out, licking her bottom lip “more and more every day.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear” he squeezed her tight. “Should I give Joseph a call to see if we can come by later?”

“Yeah let’s set that up” she agreed “we can bring Trebor along with us. Get him out of the house. Maybe it’ll jog some more memories.”

“Be good for him” he nodded, pulling his phone out. Sniffing the air he grinned “maybe we should pick up some food too while we’re here?”

Patting his stomach “are you hungry again” she laughed at the face he gave her.

“I can’t help it if I’m a bottomless pit,” he retorted. 

“I’ll go get it while you make the call” she said walking away.

“Oh hey Joseph this is your cousin Garrett….Yeah Trebor’s dad….We’re in town for a few days and would like to get together.” A pause ensued while Joseph thought about it obviously not overjoyed at the prospect of them visiting. “Tomorrow’s fine.” He smiled as he put his phone away.

Joining his wife she asked “what’s wrong?” 

“I’m not sure,” he shrugged. “It sounded like there was a party going on. He wasn’t keen on us stopping by but agreed to see us tomorrow.”

“Probably afraid we’ll tell his dad” she said.

“Yeah maybe” he shrugged dismissing it for now. “Let’s get back. I’m starving.”

***

Joseph opened the door wide to them. Yawning as he mumbled a greeting to his guests as they filed past him into his home.

“Were you up all night?” Verity aske taking in his disheveled hair and blood shot eyes.

“Mom” Trebor objected edgy as he stood near the spot he’d landed after his headlong fall down the stairs. 

“Oh hey Trebor” Rory said coming down the stairs “I didn’t know you were coming over.”

Shrugging he replied “my parents wanted to see where Joseph lived.” Rory looked tired but he didn’t have the same bloodshot eyes as Joseph did.

“I wanted to say how sorry I am about Braylin” he said “he was a good guy. Wish I’d had the chance to get to know him better.”

“Don’t count him out just yet” Trebor protested “He may come back. Better than ever.”

“That’s not what Coach says” Joseph asserted. “I’m pretty sure Matt has been given his position on the team already.”

Trebor could feel the anger welling up inside him. Even more so at the snide tone Joseph was using in regards to the team. “Bray’s the best center your team has ever had” he asserted stepping into his cousin’s face wanting nothing more than to shove his fist down his throat.

“Not anymore he’s not” he retorted. “Matt can skate circles around him. After what he did I’d think you’d want him to suffer.”

“It was an accident” he asserted through clenched teeth.

Rolling his eyes Joseph shook his head “you really are stupid aren’t you?”

He lunged forward, his arm being caught by his dad before he could deliver the blow he’d been wanting to deliver ever since his cousin began talking. 

“That’s enough boys,” Garrett said, standing between them with a hand to his son’s heaving chest.

Taking advantage of the distraction Verity pulled Rory into the living room away from the others. “Were you here the night my son was hurt?” she asked.

Eyes turning towards the other he nodded “yeah. I joined the team when Joseph did. I kind of convinced him to throw the party. Thought it’d be a good way to meet and get to know everyone on the team. I didn’t know Braylin would come. I was told he usually didn’t.”

“Why do you think he came this time?” she asked, taking a seat on the couch looking expectantly up at the young man.

Hesitantly he joined her. “I think it was because of Matt giving him a hard time. Kind of threatening him.”

“Threatening how” she asked, keeping her tone curious, interested not intense as she sensed this could be what she was looking for.

“Well he kept saying things like Braylin should be careful. To watch his back. You know stuff like that.” He shrugged “what does it matter?”

“Everyone at the party knew Matt wanted Braylin’s position” Rian said as he entered the room.

“Oh come on,” Joseph cried, joining them. “Matt was trying to make amends. He even made them drinks. Non alcoholic ones” He said before anyone asked. “If you don’t believe me, ask John. He’ll tell you. He even tasted them.”

“Doesn’t that seem odd to you?” Verity asked. All the young faces turned to look at her. “Think about it. If Matt wanted to spike Braylin’s drink he had the perfect opportunity.”

“He couldn’t have known which drink he’d take,” Joseph scoffed. “Sure Matt was jealous. Who wouldn’t want to be center on a winning team?”

Verity was silent for a moment considering his words. “You’re right unless Matt handed the drinks to Braylin and Trebor. He would have known which one was spiked and could make sure that’s the one Braylin took.” She glanced at her son.

“That’s what he did” he nodded “at the time I didn’t think anything of it. Now though when I reached for the cup I initially reached for the one he gave to Bray.”

“That doesn’t prove anything” Joseph insisted although some of his certainty was gone.”If he wanted Braylin’s position on the team all he had to do was work for it. He’s good. He’d have gotten his chance.”

“Not likely” Rory shook his head “yeah he’s good but not good enough.”

“Just because we lost the last couple of games……”

“Games we should have won if Matt wasn’t hot dogging it on the ice” Rory grumbled in disgust. “He’s more interested in showing off that he gave the other team plenty of opportunities to steal the puck. Which they did.”

“Doesn’t sound like much of a team player if you ask me” Garrett chimed in.

“Yeah well” Joseph fell silent a moment then said “that’s still not enough to convince me that he’d deliberately want to hurt Braylin.”

“Unfortunately it happens all the time” Verity said “I think he might have had other motivations though.”

“Such as” Rian asked after everyone else had fallen into a glum silence.

“That’s what I’m hoping to find out” she stretched getting to her feet. “I guess I’m looking for a reason why Matt might be out to get him.”

Frowning, Rian nodded “I seem to recall Matt saying something about his sister…”

“She was killed in a car accident,” Rory added, looking towards Joseph for confirmation.

“Didn’t he claim Braylin was responsible for her death” Trebor asked to the room as a half remembered conversation came to mind.

The others all shrugged, shaking their heads. “I guess I have some research to do. Anyone know if Braylin was involved in a fatal drunk driving incident?”

Trebor shivered at her words. Memories of a past he’d rather not remember came to mind. Things he’d rather keep buried. It was like he’d been teleported back in time and space. Screeching tires. Shattering glass as the front window caved in from the impact. The smell of gasoline as it leaked from the lines. Smoke. The sound of screams. He yelped when someone’s hand touched his shoulder. 

“Son are you ready to go” his dad’s voice gente but concerned woke him from his nightmare.

“Um yeah” he nodded “I should check on Braylin at the hospital.” He turned towards the door ignoring the various expressions of those in the room.

***

Braylin stared out the nearby window. He didn’t move when the door opened. Distantly he heard his parents talking to someone. Probably a doctor. Not his doctor though. His doctor hadn’t been there. Probably wouldn’t be ever. The voices faded and the door closed. Silence. Assuming he was alone he turned his head from the window. He gasped when his eyes fell upon his doctor. Averting his eyes he asked “what are you doing here Doctor Bennett?”

“You scared the living shit out of me” he said the first thing that came to mind. He meant to say I love you. Don’t ever do this to me again. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But nope none of that came out of his mouth.

“You weren’t supposed to find me” he mumbled, moaning a little when he tried to lift his arm up to cover his face.

“I was worried about you” his voice was harsher than he expected it to be. All the bottled up anger and fear coming out at once. “You weren’t answering my calls. Returning my messages. What the hell did you expect me to do?”

“Forget about me. Let me go” he whispered. “All I ever do is disappoint the people who care about me. My dads. My brother. You. The team. Everyone.”

The anger drained from him leaving him drained. Crumbling onto the edge of the bed he stroked Braylin’s fingers. “You haven’t disappointed me. Not once. Not ever.”

“Look at you” he motioned with his chin. “I did that to you. All because I had to have a god damned drink.”

Trebor stared at his cast for a moment. “This wasn’t your fault.

Hissing as if he were in pain Braylin said “I know what I did. I knocked you down a flight of stairs. You could have broken your neck. You could have died.”

“But you didn’t” gently he reached his good hand out to stroke the man’s face.

Turning away from his touch Braylin cried “I’m dangerous to be around. A loser.”

“No you’re not” he insisted “I’m not going away no matter how hard you try to make me go.”

Sniffling Braylin turned to gaze at him, confusion in his eyes. “Why?”

“Because….I love you” he said, noticing the way Braylin’s eyes became wide with wonder and hope. “You never gave up on me. Not once when I tried to pretend I had everything under control. You saved me because you knew I was in trouble.” He leaned forward placing a tender kiss on Braylin’s forehead. “Now it’s my turn. You need help. I’m not giving up on you.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he murmured.

“That’s enough of that kind of talk” Trebor said “you can’t help who you fall in love with. We both knew the first time we got together that it was leading us to this point. We’re soulmates and all that jazz.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in that stuff.”

“I lied,” he grinned, seeing how Braylin’s eyes lit up. “I was afraid of admitting it. Running his fingers through Braylin’s somewhat greasy pink hair he continued “I really don’t know what I’d do without my hockey player.”

“I hope you never have to find out,” he said, all too aware of how close it was. They reached for each other’s hands simultaneously, their fingers intertwining. 

“Don’t ever do that again” Trebor commanded softly “I can’t lose anyone else.”

Chapter 13 – Hope / Chapter 15 – Someone To Believe In

Knights of Hope – Chapter 13 – Hope

Trebor could feel the tremors coursing through his body. The adrenaline made his hands shake when he needed them to be steady. The aftermath of trying to keep someone alive who had every intention of dying. The whispered plea “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” Even then his last thoughts were of him.

Jumping to his feet he made a beeline towards the doors marked surgery. “Excuse me sir. You can’t go back there.” A nurse blocked his path, preventing him from going any further.

“I need to know how he’s doing” he attempted to go around her.

“The doctors will come out and talk to you” she assured him, crossing her arms in front of her ample bosom. 

Short of picking her up and moving her he didn’t have any other choice but complying. Sitting down his leg bouncing up and down in rhythm to the chaos inside his head.

“Son,” his father’s voice calm and steady beside him “they’re doing all they can.”

“What if he lost too much blood?” he asked “what if I didn’t do enough while we waited for the ambulance?”

Putting an arm around his son’s shoulders Garrett said “you did all you could do. He’s lucky you found him when you did. I’m so proud of you.”

“I should have known he was in trouble,” Trebor said, giving voice to the jumbled thoughts running through his head. “I should have tried harder to see him. I shouldn’t have given up so easily.”

“You didn’t know,” Garrett said, his words pinging off him like ricochet’s.

“I should have known” his gruff and stubborn “He was there for me and where was I when he needed me?”

“You were right where you belonged” Verity’s voice startled both of them. “You can spend your entire life second guessing yourself or you can accept that bad things happen that we can’t prevent no matter how much we wish we could.” She held her son’s face between her hands. “You followed your gut instinct that was telling you something was wrong. You were right. You could have ignored it. Hating yourself forever for not following it. That luckily didn’t happen. He’s still fighting or the doctor’s would be out here right now telling us they did all they could.”

Nodding he felt her fingertips drying his tears. She was right. He had been there when it mattered. “I should clean up” he murmured for the first time, realizing he was still covered in blood.

“You’re in luck” she held up a bag “I brought you some clean clothes to change into. You might want to have someone change that cast before you get an infection or something.”

“I’ll do that. Thanks Mom” he smiled gratefully at her as he took the bag from her fingers. She ruffled his hair “Mom stop. I’m not a little kid.”

“You’re my kid” she kissed his forehead “forever and always. Now scoot. Go get cleaned up.”

Standing he could feel how tired he was. “I should call his parents.” In his present state it felt like an impossible task. He had no desire for their first conversation to be him informing them of their son’s attempted suicide. 

“I already took care of that,” Verity informed him. “They’ll be here sometime tonight.”

“But….how” he asked although at this point he was sure he should’ve been beyond being surprised.

“You’re dad asked me to” she smiled at him “it’s the least we could do. You don’t have to do this on your own. We’re here to help. Now go. Get cleaned up.”

His parents would never cease to amaze him. He shuffled towards the bathroom. “Is it true?” Eli’s familiar voice called as he and Lana came around the corner.

Taking a good look at Trebor’s condition Lana nodded “it is true.”

“He’s still in surgery” he said to their unasked questions. “I don’t know how he’s doing.”

“I’ll go check on him,” Eli offered.

“Are you holding up alright?” Lana asked him.

“I’m still in shock I think” he said “my parents are here. Arrived this morning. Thanks for calling them.”

“You’re welcome” she said “I never thought he’d do something like this. I was just so mad at him…”

“I’ve already beat myself up over this” Trebor said “let’s not blame each other. Let’s promise to be more supportive in the future.”

“You’re right,” she said, moving in to give him a hug. She stopped just before touching him.

“I know,” he nodded, “I’m a mess. Mom brought me clean clothes to change into. I was just going to do that when you arrived.”

“Don’t let me stop you then” she smiled “I’ll go talk to your parents while you change.”

By the time he left the bathroom a doctor was talking to his parents. He knew he wouldn’t get much information about Braylin’s condition but any would be better than none. “Doctor Bennett the only thing we can share is that Mr McGavin is in critical condition but we expect him to make a full recovery thanks to your quick thinking.” He paused, frowning at the sight of the bloodied cast. “You should have that cast changed before infection sets in.”

“I’ll do that” he assured the doctor “I just needed to hear how Braylin was doing before I could consider anything else.”

***

The following afternoon Trebor found himself alone sitting beside Braylin’s bedside. Braylin’s dads insisted he sit with him despite his protests to the contrary. As a doctor he’d been inside this room or similar rooms seeing families at their worst. Crying over some loved one they were about to lose. It was the first time he found himself in the role of a heart-stricken family. 

The doctors had repaired the damage Braylin did to himself. Pumped him full of blood to replace what he lost. Risk of infection was high. Trebor could list all the things that could yet go wrong jeopardizing his recovery. One of the many hazards of being a doctor. He knew how close he’d come to losing Braylin altogether. If he’d been even a minute later than he was. it would have been too late. 

Closing his eyes, his hand crumpling the letter within his fingers. He couldn’t lose anyone else. The crumpling sound caught his attention. Braylin’s dad had found a letter Braylin had written to him. The words blurred as tears formed running down his cheeks. He didn’t want to read it. The words felt like a boulder crushing him. His brain insisted on forming the disjointed letters into words and the dreaded letter took shape. 

To my love, my beautiful Trebor,

It’s difficult to know what to write here & I’m not sure where to begin except to say, above all, that I am truly sorry for any pain that I have caused you since the moment that we met. To you I have always appeared so strong & levelheaded. To say that wasn’t planned in some way would be a lie, one of many that I have told throughout my life. It was the only lie that I ever led you to believe about me though. The truth is that I suppose I never moved past that boy who always had everything to prove to the world & to himself. 

The words that I spoke, the moments that we shared & the feelings that I have/had for you have all been true. You are the most incredible person I’ve met & to know you, the most magical part of my life. Stupid me. I always thought that hockey was the only love of my life & all that I’d ever need. That all changed when I saw that glimmer in your eyes for the first time. You gave me purpose & you held me up on days when I felt as though I was nothing more than a shell, even if you never knew. You saved me far longer than I thought that anyone could. 

I fucked up. I failed. I wanted nothing more than to be the man that you wanted, that you needed, someone worthy of your love. I let you down just as I have yet again let my family down. For the last time. I assured you all that I was clean & would remain that way forever. I’m sorry that I could not keep that promise. You deserve so much more & I feel like the biggest asshole for allowing you to waste so much time & energy on a piece of shit like me. I guess I’m selfish. I guess I’ve always been selfish. 

Please tell my family that I’m sorry & that I love them. Tell them that I said ‘thank you’ for the many chances that they gave to me. Tell my brother that I’m sorry I was never there for him in the ways that I should’ve been. Much like you, Bodhi too deserved so much more than I was capable of giving. 

My love for you grew each time that I laid eyes on you. No one in this world has ever made me feel the way that you did. Thank you for saving me from myself more times than I care to admit. This isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I am far from the man that I always wished to be & there’s no reason for me to continue to suffer or to cause others to suffer just for loving me. 

Trebor, I love you so much. There are no words to express how happy you made me. You’ll go on to greatness; I know that you will. You’ll find someone who can make you much happier than I ever could. When you find that, don’t turn your back on it. You deserve it so much. You deserve the universe & every star it holds. I wish so fucking much that I could’ve given that to you. 

Goodbye to you, my heart & soul. I love you. I’m sorry. 

Bray

The letter slipped from his stiff cold fingers floating softly to the floor. “Why” he cried, lifting his head to gaze at Braylin’s face. The still silent figure of the man he loved cut him to his soul. The gentle beeping of the nearby monitor; the only sound in the room. “Why Bray? ” he cried, burying his face in his hands. “I never asked you to be more than you were.” He reached for Bray’s hand, careful not to disturb the banadages. “I only wanted you to see yourself the way I saw you. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

The door opened behind him. He dabbed at his eyes, drying the tears that streaked his face. The sound of paper rattling as someone picked up the letter that had fallen forgotten to the floor. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have shown this to you” a low voice spoke behind him. “I thought it’d help to know what he was thinking when he….” the man’s voice became choked up as he too fought tears.

“You must hate me,” Trebor cried, jumping from the hard, uncomfortable chair. His muscles were stiff and tired. He wanted nothing more than to run and keep running.

“What” the man behind him asked. If Trebor could believe what his ears were telling him the man sounded genuinely shocked at his statement.

“It’s all my fault” he cried, giving voice to the jumbled thoughts inside his head. “If he hadn’t felt pressured to be what he thought I wanted he’d never have done this.” He flinched when the older version of Braylin touched his shoulder.

“This wasn’t your fault” the older man spoke with conviction. “I’m glad he had you. My son” his voice cracked “he had his demons. He tried to beat them. I had hoped…believed he had.”

Jerking away he paced the small room. “No, he had beaten them. He….” his chest heaved “he wouldn’t have hurt me. No matter what. It was an accident. I was too close to the stairs. Lost my balance.” He ran a hand through his hair trying to formulate his thoughts into words.

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’d fallen off the wagon. Drank. Took drugs. It was too much for him.”

Whirling around to face the man he found that both Braylin’s dad were there, holding each other’s hands. “With all due respect you don’t know him. Not really. He’s changed.” He raised a hand to ward off their words to the contrary. “He wasn’t drinking. Not once.”

“That’s what he wanted you to believe” the blue haired man said “he’s a master of hiding it.”

Shaking his head, chin wobbling. “I don’t believe you. He wanted to be the son you’d be proud of. He wanted to be the model big brother. He was driven to be the best on and off the hockey rink. He was kind and loving. Always willing to lend a helping hand even when I didn’t think I needed his help. He always went beyond my expectations.” Wiping his eyes he turned facking Braylin lying silent on the bed. “He always made me feel safe.”

“That’s the way we always hoped he’d be” the man’s voice was full of regret. Trebor recognized the tone. The years of worry and disappointment had built up to the point they didn’t know what to believe. They hadn’t been in their son’s life for years kept at a distance. Fear from both sides no doubt.

“He is that way” he stated firmly “I refuse to believe he took those drugs willfully. Something happened that night” walking towards the door “I’m going to find out what.”

***

Trebor drummed his fingers on the table waiting for someone to say something. With each passing second he wanted to ask them to say something. Anything.

Verity lifted her eyes. She met his gaze and nodded. “It won’t be easy to prove. It’s been too long.”

His initial excitement dwindled. An oppressive weight pressed on his chest. “I know he didn’t do this on purpose. Someone had to have spiked his drink.”

Placing a hand over his, she gave him a gentle smile. “I didn’t say it was impossible. I said it’s been too long and it would be difficult.”

“Listen to your mother,” Garrett said from across the table “if anyone can find proof that someone did this she can.”

They exchanged glances. Years of love and respect passed between them. Something Trebor had hoped he’d have with Braylin. He wanted that with Braylin. “Anything. I’ll do anything for him. No matter how difficult it is. He saved me once when I thought everything I’d worked for was lost. I have to do the same for him.” He looked up at his parents, “hockey is everything to him.”

Ruffling her son’s hair Verity shook her head at him. “No, not everything. If that was the case this wouldn’t have hurt him so much. He loves you. Feels he disappointed you.”

Blinking rapidly he asked “did you read the letter he wrote me?”

“We did” she glanced at her husband before adding “his parents wanted our opinion on whether or not to give it to you. They found it. I’m sorry.”

“Yet you still want to help me clear his name,” he said, making it sound like a question.

“Of course,” Garrett said, speaking firmly “we don’t give up on people.”

“His dad’s aren’t giving up,” he protested. “They’re scared. Hurt.”

“They are. If you’re right about this then we can give them back a little bit of hope and faith in their son” Verity asserted.

“So what do we do first?” he asked, wiping his eyes, drying them on the backs of his hands.

“First” she glanced at Garrett who nodded in agreement. “We make a list of anyone who might have a grudge against Braylin.”

“Do you mean like ex lovers or teammates?” he asked.

“That’s a place to start” she patted his hand before opening her phone to make notes. “Anyone you can think of?”

He stared out the window thinking through the jumbled memories of the past several months. Shaking his head about to say he didn’t know when pieces of a half forgotten conversation came to mind “There is someone. He’s new to the team. He took Bray’s position on the team. He…” frowning he tried to remember what it was that made him uneasy about him. Shaking his head “that night is such a hazy blur. There’s something I ought to remember but I can’t. It’s just not coming to me.”

“It’s alright” Verity assured him. “I’ll do some checking around. If you remember what it is, tell me.”

Getting up from the table he said “I’m going to lie down.” He took a few steps. Stopped. Turned “I think his name was Matt. The guy who took Bray’s place.”

“Get some rest, ” Verity said, shooing him from the room. “You’re father and I will go for a walk.”

Chapter 12 – Ticking Clock / Chapter 14 – Soulmate

Knights of Hope – Chapter 12 – Ticking Clock

Author’s Note: This chapter deals with the sensitive topic of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Please read with care. You’re wellbeing is more important than reading a potentially triggering story. Be safe and well.

There wasn’t enough air in the small dark room. He heard someone say his name but it didn’t matter. He had to go. He couldn’t stay. He took off running as soon as his feet hit the well lit hospital corridor. He felt somehow removed from the moment. He saw startled faces of nurses and doctors as he charged past them. It didn’t matter. None of it did. What mattered was the man lying in that hospital bed. He did that.

He burst through the glass doors gasping for breath. His lungs struggling to drag in enough oxygen to keep him going. Turning in circles he couldn’t figure out where he was. His car was gone. “Fuck” he said loud enough to make several heads to turn in his direction.

It wasn’t until he hailed a passing taxi that he realized he’d come out a different door and his car was near the emergency entrance. He’d come back for it. He couldn’t face seeing anyone else. 

Resting his forehead on the cool glass he closed his eyes. Trebor’s bruised face swam in front of him. He did that. It was on repeat inside his head repeating over and over again.

“Hey mister,” the driver shouted from the driver’s seat. “You aren’t going to get sick in my taxi.”

“No” he shook his head sitting up, wrapping his arms snug around his stomach.

“You don’t look good,” the man observed.

“I’m fine,” he assured the man. Turning he watched the buildings and pedestrians on the sidewalks as they glided past his window. What kind of horrors lay beneath those calm exteriors? He never thought about other people’s lives before and what they might have experienced in their lives. Thanks to him he gave Trebor another nightmare to endure.

He wanted to be something good. There was something about the way Trebor looked up at him. He never once held his past against him even though he had obvious issues with the things Braylin had done in the past. If he could believe Eli even now lying in a hospital, Trebor didn’t hate him. That was so typical of the kind of man he was.

Walking into his apartment he was confronted again with his failure. His so-called friend had only encouraged him down his destructive path instead of trying to stop him. His stomach churned at the sight of all the empty beer bottles scattered around the room. It reeked of stale beer. Locking himself away inside his room he was able to close the door on the mess and breathe fresher air.

Kicking his shoes and socks off he stumbled into the bathroom. Starting the shower he stepped inside letting the hot water pelt down upon his sore tired body. His clothes were soon soaked through to the skin. He didn’t care. He was past caring. Sinking down inside the tub he drew his knees into his chest shivering. He had nothing left. He’d lost it all. Ruined it all. Deep wracking sobs tore through his body leaving him weak, tired and hurting.

***

Two weeks later Trebor stared at his phone. None of his messages had been returned. It was like they fell into a black hole never to be heard from again. Pulling his feet up, pressing his knees into his chest. Leaning forward a low moan escaped as he rested his forehead on his knees.

Raising his free hand he wiped the wetness from his cheeks. He thought he was done with crying. The pain in his heart seemed to have taken up permanent residence inside him. After he lost Oliver he hadn’t hurt this bad. Did that mean he hadn’t really loved him the way he always thought he did? Or had enough time passed that the pain was dissipating? Or had he just reached a new level of pain? Was it even worth it? 

Every time he closed his eyes he saw Bray’s face. Not the way it was the night of the party. That wasn’t really him. It wasn’t the person he’d come to know. The person he loved.

A sharp knock on his apartment door had his heart leaping to his throat. Could it be? Unfolding his legs he raced to the door. A smile spread across his face anticipating who it’d be on the other side. “It’s about time…..” his smile faded as he came face to face with his parents. The crushing disappointment left him feeling weak and weighed down.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” his mother demanded her arms crossed in front of her.

“I….um” scratching his head he shrugged. It wouldn’t do any good for him to say he hadn’t thought of it. Or that he didn’t think it was important enough for them to fly all the way from Sunlit Tides to see him. Glancing towards his dad, his eyes silently pleading for him to intervene.

“Verity honey, he’s a grown man,” Garrett said, putting his hands on her shoulders. “He doesn’t have to tell us everything.”

“Thanks Dad” he blinked back tears when the older man pulled him into a bear hug.

“We’re here to offer our support” he explained “besides once your mother found out there was no way we weren’t dropping everything and coming here.”

“I knew I should have done a background check on that guy,” she asserted. “Did you know he had a history of drinking?”

“Mom please” his voice rose. “I don’t need to know every detail of his past. All I need to know is who he is right now.”

“The evidence says otherwise” she snorted, tapping a fingernail on the cast around his arm.

“This was an accident” he asserted.

“You don’t need to protect him” she cried “I’ve seen a lot of cases like this in my time. You don’t have to cover for him.”

“I’m not covering for him” he yelled “It was an accident. It wasn’t his fault.”

“We believe you son” Garrett gave his wife a severe frown shaking his head when she would have added something more to further her argument.

“You do?” he asked, gaping at his dad.

“I do” he nodded “you’ve always been keen to see the good in people. I trust your instinct.”

“I just want my baby to be safe” Verity conceded giving him a hug. “When I see my babies hurting I want to get the person who hurt them.”

“Mom I’m alright” he assured her “my arm will be good as new after a little bit of physical therapy once the cast comes off.”

Touching his face she smiled. “I’m sure you will be. You have your great grandfather’s willpower to make your dreams come true despite any obstacles thrown at you.”

Her words brought a smile to his face. “Thanks mom, I needed to hear that.”

“Now” she grabbed his shoulders “you’re much too thin. Haven’t you been eating.”

“Mom…” his protest fell on deaf ears as she went to inspect the kitchen for supplies. He would  have followed her but a light touch on his arm stopped him. 

“Let her alone,” Garrett said, “it makes her feel like she’s doing something. I’ll stop her from actually cooking. Have you heard from him since that happened?”

“Who?” he asked, watching his mom rummaging through his cupboards.

“You know who” his dad’s voice was firm and implacable.

Turning he shook his head “he won’t return my calls. I…” His voice caught in his throat. “He’s hurting Dad and he won’t let me help.”

Rubbing his chin, giving the impression of giving his son’s words deep thought. “Have you confronted him? In person I mean.”

“Well no” he looked towards the floor hoping for inspiration. “It’s pretty obvious he doesn’t want to see me. Why else wouldn’t he answer my calls?”

“Son” his father’s tone was low and serious. It transported Trebor back in time ten or 15 years. He was a kid again awaiting to hear a well rehearsed lecture over some infraction of the rules. “That’s a cop out and you know it.”

He sucked in air. He hadn’t expected that. It was true though. He did want to talk to Braylin but he was hesitant to do so alone. Not that he was afraid something would happen. He was sure of that. In his right mind Braylin wouldn’t hurt him. It did make him wonder if he was afraid to be alone with him. Why was he defending him? Was it what he should do or because he really believed it himself? “Dad, I don’t know what to do. Tell me what I should do.” A part of him hoped his dad would tell him exactly what he ought to do like he did when he was a kid. 

“I don’t know son” he glanced towards the kitchen. “I do know you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with him. If you love him you’ll be able to put this behind you. Whatever you do, don’t let him push you away.”

“What about mom?”  he asked, “she’s not going to like me going over there. Not alone.”

“Don’t worry about that. You won’t be alone” Garrett assured him “she’ll be too busy shopping to fill those empty cupboards of yours.”

***

Staring at his phone, scrolling through messages. His dads. Brother. Trebor. Coach. John. Messages of concern. Worry. Anger. Betrayal. They all believed he’d fallen off the wagon. All but Trebor but his messages hurt too much to read or listen to. It had been a hard go at first. After having a taste again he craved the searing heat of a good whiskey burning a trail down his throat to his stomach. He wanted the oblivion being wasted offered and the respite from his thoughts. What kept him from drinking? The image of Trebor lying alone in the hospital bed. He did that. 

He was a monster. Everything that was wrong in the world was inside him. He shouldn’t be allowed to live. He sank to the floor. His back to the wall. His head banged into the unforgiving solid wall. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. He kept up a steady rhythm. The pain dulled the voices yelling at him. He kept it up until one of his neighbors yelled through walls to knock it off. 

There was a sore spot on the back of his head. Tender to the touch. Without the constant banging he was left with the thoughts inside his head. The thoughts that taunted him. Merciless in their torment. “Shut up” he cried curling into a fetal position on the floor “leave me alone.”

It had to stop. He couldn’t take it anymore. No one would miss him. He only ever caused misery. He was a constant source of disappointment to his parents. His brother would be better off without him. His one real passion in life was hockey and he’d lost that too. Suspended. That word echoed in his head.  

His phone buzzed alerting him of a new call. Trebor’s smiling face lit up his screen. Needing to hear his voice one more time he answered the call. He heard the stunned shock in the man’s voice, no doubt expecting him to ignore this call too. 

“Bray don’t hang up” he pleaded “we need to talk.” 

He bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out and telling him how sorry he was. Trebor deserved so much more than him. He could never be the person he needed him to be. 

“Bray, are you there?” his voice sounded so concerned. The anxiety in it made him want to pull him close and comfort him. “Don’t go anywhere. I’m coming over there. I’m not taking no this time.”

Setting his phone down whispering “I’m sorry I won’t be here when you get here.” He’d spent the last few days cleaning. Making sure everything was in order. He didn’t want to leave a mess for anyone else to clean up. He’d made enough messes in his life already. His death didn’t need to be even messier.

Satisfied he nodded. Hearing Trebor’s voice gave him the courage to do what needed to be done. His thoughts were calming now that he’d made the decision. He’d finally have peace. No more being the source of endless disappointment and pain. No one else would be hurt because of him.

Selecting a knife from the butcher’s block that Trebor had insisted every kitchen needed he walked into his bathroom. Stripping he ran the bath. 

Closing his eyes he felt at peace. His decision was made. No looking back. No regrets. This was for the best. Everyone would be better off without him.

***

Staring at his phone Trebor had a bad feeling that something awful was about to happen. “Dad, something’s wrong. He answered but he wouldn’t talk. I’ve got to get over there.”

“Alright” Garrett said dropping what he was doing in the kitchen he ushered him towards the door.

Trebor was never more thankful for the parents he had then he was that second. His dad didn’t press him for more information. Simply took his word and was ready to go. Pressing his feet into the floor he imagined it propelling the car faster down the busy street. 

“It’s going to be alright,” Garrett said, glancing over at him from the driver’s seat.

He bit back the harsh angry scared words he wanted to say. In the pit of his stomach he knew it was too late. It was like he had a ticking time clock in his head and no matter how close they were it was always going to be done counting before he got there. He knew his world as he knew it was about to end. “I don’t know what I’ll do without him” he mumbled beneath this breath.

He could feel his dad’s steadfast gaze upon him. “With a little luck you won’t have to find out.” The car spurted forward hurtling down the street swerving around cars like they were parked.

Screeching to a stop, lights flashing in the rearview mirror Garrett urged “go. I’ll take care of this.”

Sprinting inside he ran up the stairs not wasting time waiting for the elevator. Using the key Braylin had insisted he take, he entered the silent apartment. Silence wasn’t normal for someone as vibrant and energetic as Braylin was. Something was definitely wrong. It was neat. Clean. Almost like it’s occupant had wanted to erase their existence. “Bray” he called out, heart pounding in his ears. He almost missed the trickle of water. “Bray” he called again knocking softly on the bathroom door.

Hands shaking he opened the door dreading what he would find. An anguished squeak came out upon seeing the scene that greeted his eyes. As a doctor he’d seen many things but nothing prepared him for this. Closing his eyes he swallowed the bile that rose. When he opened his eyes his doctor’s brain had kicked in, taking control. Getting things done.

Chapter 11 – The Party / Chapter 13 – Hope