Chapter 38 – Visits From Daddy

A few months later Braylin walked into the kitchen to find Trebor staring out the window, a mixing spool in his hand. “Something interesting going out there?”

“What?” Trebor swung around splattering the wall and floor with batter.

Walking across the room Braylin put an arm around Trebor’s waist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Grasping Bray’s hand Trebor closed his eyes forcing himself to breathe normally. Leaning into his husband he said “you’d think I’d get getter better now that I’m home and she’s gone forever.”

Turning Trebor around Bray cupped his face between his hands. “You were terrorized by that woman since you were a baby. Those feelings and memories aren’t going to magically go away just because she’s no longer around to hurt you anymore. I wish they could because i want you to have peace of mind and be able to feel secure.”

“I do feel secure…” his voice faded. They both knew he was a nervous mess when Bray wasn’t there with him. His anxiety was at an all time high since Braylin had started training with the team and staying in the city now.

“It’s only for a few more months until the end of the season. Then I’ll be home for good.” Bray assured him, giving him a soft peck on the cheek. 

Nodding Trebor leaned into him as if he were trying to draw strength from him. “I know it’s only a few months even if it feels like forever.” He looked up, a slight smile on his face “I want you to enjoy your last season. You don’t have to worry about me. I promise.” He knew that Bray worried and he wished there was something he could do to prove that he didn’t need to. Biting his bottom lip, thinking a moment before adding “Dad and I have started going to a support group for trauma victims. It helps to talk. It helps knowing that what I’m feeling is normal and that I’m not alone.”

“That’s good,” Braylin sighed a little. He’d been worried that Trebor would find it overwhelming and cause his anxiety to escalate past the point he was able to handle. It came as a relief to find that it was helping him. He was still worried and hoped that it wouldn’t dig up too many memories from the past while he was gone and wouldn’t be able to help him. Glancing at the floor and the mess he inadvertently caused. “Want some help cleaning up?” he offered.

Trebor hesitated a fraction of a moment as he contemplated Bray’s offer. He hated sharing his kitchen space with anyone but it was an opportunity to have more time with Bray before he left in the morning. “Sure,” he resolutely turned his back on the congealing mess and left the warmth of Bray’s embrace to turn the stove on. “You can clean up the mess you made while I get the pancakes started. He knew he would mop the floor later and wipe down the walls once Bray left. 

“Well…I don’t know,” Bray sighed, lips twitching, “manual labor isn’t exactly in my job description.”

Snorting “mopping the floor isn’t manual labor.” The forgotten mixing spoon waving in the air sent batter onto the counter. Groaning a little “look what you made me do now.”

Shaking his head Bray said “me? I didn’t make you do anything.”

Groaning Trebor reached for some paper towels. “At this rate I’m going to have to make a whole new batch of batter by now most of it is either on the floor or the walls.” His half irritated expression melted upon seeing Bray’s twinkling eyes and knew he was trying not to laugh. “Maybe I’ll just make eggs and toast instead.”

Taking his hands Bray took the mixing spoon and set it down “or we can go out for breakfast.”

“But the mess…” Trebor wouldn’t feel right leaving the house even briefly like this.

“Get dressed and by the time you’re ready I’ll have the kitchen cleaned up,” Bray told him “then you can come back and clean it again.”

Trebor opened his mouth to protest but he snapped it shut just as quickly. They both knew he would so why pretend he wouldn’t? “Fine,” he said, “but it better be spotless.”

***

“I want Daddy,” Blake wailed, throwing one of his toys across the room.

Trebor jerked his head up from a medical journal he was reading. His heart leaped into his throat at the sudden unexpected sound. “Blakey Daddy went bye bye.”

“No,” he whined, eyes swimming with tears “want Daddy.”

“Daddy’s going to call us as soon as his flight lands,” Trebor explained. “You like talking to Daddy on the phone.”

“Not the same,” Blake sniffed, rubbing his eyes.

“No it’s not,” Trebor got up and sat beside his son on the floor. “Once Daddy is finished playing for the season he’s coming home for good. Then we’ll see him every day.” Even as the words came out Trebor knew it would make little difference to Blake. It felt like forever even to him. 

He watched his son wondering how he could make it easier on him. A four year old’s concept of time was very different to his. Simply telling him Daddy would be home for a visit in two weeks would make little sense to him when he wanted his daddy now. 

“Want Daddy home now,” Blake sobbed, confirming Trebor’s thoughts.

“He’ll come home,” Trebor assured him. He hated how distraught Blake was every time Braylin had to leave. It seemed to get worse every time they had to say goodbye. Not for the first time he wondered if it would be better if Braylin just stayed in the city instead of coming home for infrequent visits. Shaking his head he knew he simply couldn’t go for months without seeing Braylin and he didn’t want to deprive Bray of seeing his son. He just had to find a way to make it better.

“It’ll get better,” he murmured his mind working on how he could make it better for both of them.

Sobbing louder “want Daddy home.”

Listening to his son’s cries was almost enough to break his own resolve not to break down. Taking a deep breath he took his son’s hand and stood up. “Daddy is coming home in two weeks.” Getting on his knees in front of his son “do you know how long that is?”

Sniffing Blake shook his head “is that longer than tomorrow?”

Nodding Trebor scooped him up “I’m afraid so Bud.” He carried Blake over to one of the wall calendars. Pointing he said “this is today.” He moved his finger on the calendar “this is when we’ll see Daddy again.”

Blake frowned at the calendar, shaking his head “no want to wait. Daddy come home now.”

“I don’t want to wait either,” Trebor agreed with him. Taking a nearby pen he drew an ‘X’ inside the box “when all the boxes have an ‘X’ that’s when Daddy comes home to visit.”

“Too long,” Blake whined, snuggling into Trebor, sucking on his thumb.

“I know but it’s only for a little while.” Smiling down at his son he added “then we’ll have Daddy all the time. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” he nodded, sucking on his thumb in earnest now a habit he’d gotten into since Braylin had started training.

“Me too,” Trebor sighed, watching him for a moment. “Let’s go visit Grammy and Grampa. That’ll be fun.”

Blakes eyes lit up with interest. “Cookies?” he asked hopefully.

“I’m sure Grammy will have cookies for you,” he booped his son’s nose “but only if you ask nicely.”

“Me always say pweas,” he said grinning as the tears dried on his cheeks. 

“Good. Let’s go see Grammy,” Trebor grinned, chuckling a little at his son, thankful he was able to find something for his son to be happy about.